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Struggle With Marriage

When Marriage is Hard
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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When marriage is hard. Why is marriage hard?“Why is marriage so hard?” That is a question I often hear from struggling couples.

What happened?  All of that love, all the connection, seems to disappear, to be replaced with struggle and strife.

At the start, it seemed so easy.  You wanted to be together, to spend your life together.  Then… something shifted.  Things got tough.

Does that mean that the marriage was wrong, that you married the wrong person?

Or is there something else going on?

There are several challenges that arise in any marriage.  They are challenges, not insurmountable obstacles.  They prove that “being in love” is not enough to get you through life.

You CAN make it through the struggle.  And no, the struggle does NOT mean the marriage is headed for failure or broken.  There IS a place for renewal and connection.

Listen below for more on how to get past the struggle.

RELATED RESOURCES
Connection is the Lifeblood
Conflict in Marriage
Can You Save Your Marriage?
Save The Marriage System

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“It shouldn’t be this hard!” (And Other Lies We Tell About Marriage)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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"It shouldn't be this hard" and other lies about marriage.Far from the first time, he turned to me in the middle of a session and said, “See? It just shouldn’t be this hard.  That is why I know this marriage is wrong.  If it were right, we wouldn’t struggle like this.”

I had to admit… they were struggling.  It was difficult.  BUT, the struggle did not prove the marriage was wrong.  It did demonstrate that the way they were interacting was not good for the relationship (or for either of the two people in my office).

What it did not prove was that the marriage was wrong.

Quick stat.  Do you have any idea what percent of marriages have difficulties and struggles?

Here is the answer… if you haven’t guessed:  100%

Yep.  All of them.

Somewhere around 50% figure out how to move through the struggle or stick it out, in spite of the struggle.

That’s just one of the lies we tell about marriages.  Not that people mean to lie.  They just say what they believe… which is a lie (or based on a lie).  Let me tell you four of the bigger lies people tell (themselves) in this episode of the podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Why It Matters
Feel Like Quitting
Myths of Marriage
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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