It’s Not About Who Wins
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
I remember saying to a couple on my couch, both claiming they were doing more and working harder for their relationship, “It’s not a competition!”
They didn’t much seem to believe me. They were simultaneously trying to win while proving they were losing. Yep, they were trying to win at a game of “who does more and gets less.” I am not sure what the trophy would have been, but the “prize” appeared to be a battered and painful marriage.
And they weren’t alone. They AREN’T alone! Lots of couples act like they are in a competition to win. And they think it is an individual sport, not a team sport!
That’s where the damage happens. Instead of playing to win at life, they are playing to win against a spouse.
Against. Anytime you find yourself against your spouse, you can guarantee the outcome is not a win for the team. It is not a help for the marriage… for the relationship.
With every win you get in an individual competition, there is a loser… in this case, your spouse. And if your spouse wins, you lose.
Learn why this is so dangerous and how to escape the one-on-one competition in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.
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