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why is my marriage hurting

How to Get the Love You Want
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Harville Hendricks and Helen Hunt on Getting the Love You Want.Why did you fall in love with your spouse?  Why do people fall in love with the person they fall in love?

And perhaps even more importantly for our time together, why do those same relationships cause such pain? How can love turn painful and hurtful?

Harville Hendrix and Helen Hunt have been on the forefront of helping hurting marriages for decades.  In 1988, their seminal book, Getting The Love You Want, came out to great acclaim.  It was an international best-seller.

In that book (now revised), Harville and Helen reveal their Imago Theory of why we fall in love, and why it can either be hurtful or healing.  They also provide exercises for couples to explore their own Imago relating, to help with healing and health.

Some time ago, Harville and Helen gave me some of their time to share their thoughts and direction on how to create a loving relationship.  This interview was originally part of a special program.  But I decided to share it with you, because of the powerful information they shared.

Listen below to discover how understanding your Imago and help heal your marriage.

RELATED RESOURCES
Book:  Getting The Love You Want
Website for Harville and Helen
What Happy Couples Know Series
The Save The Marriage System

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The Differences Between Happy and Hurting Marriages
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

What is the difference between a happy and a hurting marriage? 4 differences that don’t matter and 4 that do.Marriages start at the same place:  two people in love, ready to face the world together.  And most believe they have already beaten the odds.  Their love is “the real thing,” enduring and lasting.  It won’t fall apart like those other marriages.  They have already won.

Except they haven’t.

Some marriages keep on moving forward, resolute and solid, loving and supportive.  But many hit an inflection point. They go from happy to hurting.

And many times, they can’t find their way back… mostly because they don’t know what the difference was; what made the difference between happy and hurting.

Interestingly, most people name differences that don’t make a difference between happy and hurting.  What they assume makes a difference, doesn’t.

Instead, there are 4 differences that do matter.  And here is what is important:  they can be changed.  Once you understand the 4 differences between a hurting and happy marriage, you can shift toward happy.  They are learnable skills, once identified.

Listen below for the 4 differences that don’t matter and the 4 differences that do.  They make the difference between happy and hurting.

RELATED RESOURCES:
The Power of Commitment
The Importance of Connection
What About Communication?
The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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