why should I save my marriage – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

“Why Should I Try? Don’t Tell Me What To Do!”

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By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 25, 2019

Jared was a bit more pointed in his question. But to be fair, I HAVE been asking for people to submit questions. And he did.

He told me straight up, “You tell me to connect with my spouse. Well, I’ve been trying to do that. If I’ve been trying and it isn’t working, what are you gonna teach me that will make a difference?”

Fair question.

So I responded to it in this episode of the podcast.

Jared continues on about my “Easy” approach to saving a marriage. So, just to clarify here and in my podcast, I never said “Easy.” I did say “Simple.” Many things are simple, but not easy. Never confuse the two. My attempt is to simplify the process, so that you do not get overwhelmed. This is not some “self-working, no effort necessary” approach. Anyone who claims to have that is simply lying.

On the other hand, I think I can clarify and simplify the process, so that you know exactly what to do.

But I tell you why in the podcast.

And no, Jared, you don not “have” to do anything. But if you want to do something to work on your marriage, I am here to help. So, let’s talk. First, listen to the episode below for my response to your question.

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“Why Should I Even Try?” – When Discouragement Hits… Hard

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 24, 2019

Several people have asked me the same thing: “What if I am not even sure I want to save my marriage? I am so frustrated and discouraged, I feel like quitting… not even trying.”

It is a great question!

(By the way, if you want to submit a question for me to consider answering on a future podcast, email to [email protected])

Let’s be honest: it can be a frustrating and discouraging process. Sometimes, people think I say the process is easy. But in my book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, I use the word, “Simple.” That is not the same as easy. Just direct. Simple. (Only 3 steps.)

Many people, in a fit of frustration, a moment of anger, give up and walk away… only to regret it just a little further down the road.

Which is why I suggest you think about your decision a bit differently. I suggest you assess your reasons as part of your plan, and as a touch-point when things are difficult (and they will be). Because many times, the difficulty comes when people are close to success… they just didn’t know it.

If you are discouraged (or want to avoid being discouraged), listen in on this episode of the podcast, as I explore “Why Even Try???”

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Why Protecting Yourself Won’t

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 22, 2017

Whenever I get the same questions over and over, I decide it is time to do a podcast. And this came up just a couple of days ago. The person on the other end of the phone call said, “Why should I even try? If I don’t save my marriage, it will just hurt more when I fail.”

The question that repeats is, “Why work on this when there is a chance it just can’t be saved?”

For this very reason, many people never even try to save a hurting marriage. Ironically, by not taking any action, they are almost guaranteed to lose the marriage. . . and feel hurt — what they said they were somehow avoiding.

Human nature is to avoid immediate pain — even at the expense of greater pain down the road. We tend to do some “anticipatory hurting,” imagining the pain we might feel later. And so, we avoid a course that takes us to that feared hurting.

The only problem is, this often causes suffering almost immediately.

I asked my caller a quick question, “Okay, if you don’t work to save your marriage, what will happen to your marriage.” She paused. Then she admitted, “It will definitely fail.”

“In other words,” I commented, “if you do nothing, you will lose the marriage and be in pain. If you work on it, you MAY be hurting if it doesn’t work. But you MIGHT recover your marriage.”

My caller is now a client of mine, hard at work, saving her marriage.

Don’t protect yourself in a way that guarantees the hurt. Why not give it a shot?

(Listen below for more understanding of why we do this. And if you are ready to work on your marriage, grab my Save The Marriage System HERE.)

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Video: Why Should I Save My Marriage?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

May 9, 2011

Another video to answer another common question: “why should I save my marriage?” Sometimes, we get discouraged, see no way to get things to change, and are ready to give up on saving a marriage. But is that the right choice? Are we making a wise choice when there are so many swirling emotions?

Explore the answer to the question of why you should (or should not) save your marriage!