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Monthly Archives :

January 2017

…Yet
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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YetThe phone rings.  I answer.  The person on the other end blurts, “I CAN’T SAVE MY MARRIAGE!”  And as calmly as possible, I add “Yet.”

Uh?

“I can’t save my marriage YET.”

Uh?

Many times, people contact me to tell me their marriage can’t be saved.  But I am not quite so sure.  It IS possible the person is right.  Not every marriage can be saved.  Before deciding that, though, I want to know more.

Is the person at a “failpoint?”

Does the person have the tools and knowledge needed?

Has the person actually taken action?

Has the action been useful and consistent?

This week, I will tell you why “Yet” is one of my favorite words.  It is powerful.  If you know why.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Failpoints
You Need A Plan
You Are Stalled
Save The Marriage System

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“Where Do I Focus?”
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Don't know where to put your focus?Whenever I am alone on a long drive, I try to answer all the calls I can.  This past weekend gave me another opportunity.  I delivered my son to college and had an 8 hour drive home.

I answered a call as I was leaving the mountains.  The woman on the call told me she had my System.  But in the midst of the crisis, she needed some shortcut.  She wanted a simple place to focus.

First, I got her to promise me she would read the whole System and apply ALL of it.  She promised she was looking for real guidance.  Not just a trick or easy answer.

I told her there are 2 places of focus, as far as I was concerned.  If I boiled it all down, this gave her 2 “handles” to hold onto as she put her plan together and moved forward.

Sometimes, when you are under pressure, some pretty good things come out of it.  My 2 words of focus for her?  “Respect” and “Connect.”  It was good enough that I wanted to share this with you.

Listen to the podcast below to learn what I mean (even if you don’t feel respect and aren’t feeling connected).  And how to get started!

RELATED RESOURCES:
Having A Plan
Dimensions of Connection
Respect
My System
How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps
Coaching Services

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Don’t Wait For Confidence
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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dontwaitconfidenceConfidence and capability.  Two big blocks holding people back from saving their marriage — unnecessarily!

People call or write me and tell me they are absolutely ready to do whatever it takes to save their marriage. . . IF I can tell them their marriage can be saved. . . BEFORE they take action.

They want confidence.  But that puts it in the wrong order.  Confidence does not come before action.  It comes as a result of having taken action.

Which leads to people asking, “how do I take action?”  That is all about having capabilities — abilities and knowledge, tools, skills.  THAT isn’t even the starting point.  In some ways, that is the easier part of the process. (If you want to gain the skills and knowledge, get the tools, and create capabilities, GRAB THIS SYSTEM.)

Don’t wait for confidence.  Listen to this week’s podcast for where you REALLY start.

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The 3 Dimensions of Connection
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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3dimensionsofconnectionConnection is the lifeblood of marriage.  In fact, we are wired for deep connection.  And while the connection works best within the marriage relationship, it is not singular.

Many couples find connection in only one or two areas, missing that second or third dimension of connecting.  Often, over time, this begins to eat away at the connection a couple shares.

Disconnection tends to breed disconnection.  When there are areas missing, they begin to chip away at the other areas.

But connection tends to breed connection.  As you work to reconnect, and as you focus on all three dimensions, there is a multiplying effect.  Connection deepens and broadens, leading to more and more connection.

Listen to this week’s podcast to discover the 3 Dimensions of Connection.

(If you need more help with connection, CHECK OUT THIS TRAINING.  And if you want a System for connection, GRAB THE SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM.)

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