Close
Enter your
text here
Monthly Archives :

June 2017

The Danger of the Yo-Yo Method
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

The dangers of the Yo Yo Method of saving a marriage. tDo you know about “yo-yo dieting,” where people start a plan and lose weight, drop off the plan and gain it back, only to repeat that over and over?

Did you know that each time that happens, it makes it harder to lose weight the next time?  Did you know that this pattern places people at higher risk of other medical issues?

Did you know that many people do the exact same thing in their efforts to save a marriage?

They start working on things, even start making some progress.  And then, they stop — for many reasons, but in the end, they stop.  And things get worse.  So, they start again.  It may take a little more effort and a little more time.  But things get better.  Then they stop.  Guess what?  Things get worse again.

That is the Yo-Yo Method of saving a marriage.

Don’t Do It!

Listen to this week’s podcast and learn why it happens (and how to stop it).

THEN CLICK HERE AND LET’S SOLVE IT, ONCE AND FOR ALL.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Every Shortcut Has Gotten You Here. . .
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

All the "short-cuts" got you to here.I admit it.  The phone call got under my skin.  We were traveling and I answered the call.  The person asked if I was the “save the marriage guy.”  I told him I was.  He told me he didn’t want my System.  Just the secret, the “short-cut.”

When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn’t want to go through all of that.  He just needed the “trick,” the short-cut.

We went round and round for a couple more minutes.

I realized I was not going to convince him, but all the “short-cuts” he had been trying is what got him to here.

He hung up, likely still looking for the “short-cut.”

And I was left thinking.  Wondering.  Pondering.

And realizing that there is a distinct difference between being efficient and trying to find the “trick.”  Those “tricks” are all the things on the internet about “hypnosis,” “reverse psychology,” “spells,” or any of those other manipulations.

You can be efficient in your efforts.  You can be effective in your plan.  But not by taking the “short-cuts” that are really just tricks.

Can I tell you more about this?  Listen to the podcast below.

Then, let me suggest trying a REAL approach:  the Save The Marriage System you can find RIGHT HERE.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

The Anxiety-Anger Anchor
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

The Anxiety Anger AnchorDo you find yourself and/or your spouse anchored to a problem by anxiety or anger?  Guess what? Anger and Anxiety — they come from the same space!  One is the inner, the other is the outer expression of fear/hurt/threat.

And wow, can it ever anchor both of you to the problems — keeping you from moving to solution.

Why does the Anxiety-Anger become an anchor?

How do you cut the line and get back on-track to healing your marriage?

Listen to today’s podcast to learn more on releasing the Anxiety-Anger Anchor.

RELATED RESOURCE:
Anger and Resentment
Why You Need A Plan
The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

The Compatibility Myth
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

The Compatibility Myth“We’re just not compatible” has been the start of many “we can’t stay together” discussions.  But is it true?  Is there an issue of compatibility?

If you believe the many on-line dating profiles, that is the way you find your love:  compatibility. Complete a profile, indicate what you like, and be cross-referenced for people with similar likes.

But guess what?  Not much research backs that.

“Birds of a feather flock together” is no more true than “opposites attract.”

And still. . . it is the stated reason for many marriage-ending discussions.

When I hear the statement in my office, I have one central question:  “What do you mean by ‘compatible.'”  Suddenly, confidence in incompatibility erodes into confusion on what they even mean.

In reality, it is mostly an excuse.

People from opposite ends of the political and/or religion spectrums get along just fine.  People with opposite tastes in music, food, art, and whatever other “compatibles” there are, manage happy marriages.  People with few or no shared sports or activities still stay in love.

There is one area of compatibility that DOES matter.  I tell you about it in this week’s podcast, along with the reasons why compatibility, for the most part, doesn’t matter for marital bliss.

And if you are ready to get beyond that “compatibility excuse,” grab my Save The Marriage System RIGHT HERE.

Want to know what marriage is REALLY about?  LISTEN TO THIS PODCAST EPISODE.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS