Posts Tagged :

abusive marriage

Is It Too Toxic??
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

When is a marriage too toxic to save?You probably know that I’m on the side of your marriage.  I’m all about saving a marriage.

But does that mean that EVERY marriage will be saved, or even should be saved?

No.

First, there are times when BOTH people want to leave the marriage.  At that point, there is nothing that WILL save the marriage.  There has to be energy from AT LEAST one person, in order for anything to change.

Second, there are times when the toxicity level is high, creating a toxic situation for the spouses.  In fact, there are 3 times when it MAY be too toxic.  And there is 1 time when it absolutely too toxic to work on the marriage.

Let me tell you 5 symptoms of elevated toxicity, 3 times you may need to step back, and 1 time you definitely need to step back from the marriage.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Domestic Violence Help
Anger & Resentment
Coping
Issues And Marriages

Save The Marriage System

When Is It Time To Separate?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

WhenTimeToSeparateI think I have made it clear that I am not a fan of separation.  Generally, it is a trial run at divorce, a “dress rehearsal.”

But is there a time when it is necessary to separate?  When it is actually a good idea to separate?

Many couples face this question every year.  They ponder the question, mulling it over.  Should they separate?  What does a separation do for the prospects of saving a marriage?

Having had this conversation with couples and individuals many times over my career, I can tell you that the conversation, itself, is painful and tough.  Much less, actually separating.

Sometimes, there has to be a separation.  In fact, in one instance, I think it is absolutely necessary.

Then, there are times when you may want to resist, but realize that there is more damage done by NOT separating than by separating.

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I answer the question, “When is it time to separate?”  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Separation Resources
“How I Saved My Marriage”
Can You Save Your Marriage?
Anger and Marriage
Save The Marriage System

When Is It Too Toxic?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

When is a marriage too toxic to save?You probably know that I’m on the side of your marriage.  I’m all about saving a marriage.

But does that mean that EVERY marriage will be saved, or even should be saved?

No.

First, there are times when BOTH people want to leave the marriage.  At that point, there is nothing that WILL save the marriage.  There has to be energy from AT LEAST one person, in order for anything to change.

Second, there are times when the toxicity level is high, creating a toxic situation for the spouses.  In fact, there are 3 times when it MAY be too toxic.  And there is 1 time when it absolutely too toxic to work on the marriage.

Let me tell you 5 symptoms of elevated toxicity, 3 times you may need to step back, and 1 time you definitely need to step back from the marriage.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Domestic Violence Help
Anger & Resentment
Coping
Issues And Marriages

Save The Marriage System