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Posts Tagged :

anger

End Your Dance of Hurt and Blame
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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End the dance of hurt and blame.Hurt.  Blame.  Hurt.  Blame.

The dance goes round and round, each person dancing the steps.  That dance isn’t fun.  But it certainly seems to be a popular dance for couples!

Every relationship has its unique “dance,” and both people generally stick to the same steps. . . until it doesn’t work anymore.

Then, the marriage can easily lapse into trouble.

Unless you decide to change the dance.

Since we are on this dance theme, many people tell me, “Well, it takes two to Tango.”  True.

And if you are married, you two are dancing.  In other words, the dance is already in progress.  But you know what?  In every dance, someone can choose to “lead” in a different way, choose to dance some different steps.  And maybe even decide to change the music and dance a different dance entirely.

Tired of the dance you are in?

Stop the “dance of blame and hurt!”

RELATED RESOURCES:
Finding Your Why
Showing Up
Connection Resources
Save The Marriage System
VIP Program

 

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How To Stop Reacting
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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StopReactingIt can be habit.  You see that look or hear a comment, you hear a raised voice or see something that makes you wonder.  And you react.

And your reaction only causes further problems.

Reactions are “knee-jerk.”  They are rarely thought-out, and almost always counter-productive.

And the next time, it happens again.

You are stuck in “Reactive Soup,” as I call it.

While the behavior is understandable, it is not likely to be getting you anywhere you want to be.  It is likely NOT helping your relationship.  And it probably leaves you frustrated with yourself (unless you are still stuck blaming your spouse).

Oh, sure, you could rationalize why this isn’t your fault and why it isn’t your problem.

But it is.

Only you can make a change.  Your reactions are not getting you where you want to get, so let’s get them changed.

Listen below to learn why you react, and how to stop.

 

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Time To Really Show Up In Your Marriage!: #50 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Show up in your marriage!We all do it.  We play it small.  We try to “slide by,” avoid the conflict, and hope something will change.

If you find yourself doing that, time to stop!  Life happens, problems end, and relationships improve, only when we finally commit to showing up.

Being present can radically change your relationship.  Really being there, present and attentive, can change your entire life.

So why don’t we show up?  Past hurts, fears, anger, resentment — they all can get in the way.

But letting those emotions and concerns get in your way only limits your life.  They only keep you trapped.

Free yourself and discover how to show up in this week’s podcast.

Let me know what you think in the comments area below!

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