hopeless marriage – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Discouraged? Here is what to do (5 things)…

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By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 19, 2022

Discouraged?

You are trying to save your marriage and… you can’t get traction. You move a little ahead, only to slide backward. Steps forward and steps backward.

And that is why you are discouraged.

Am I right?

What if I told you that was the nature of the process? What if I told you that almost everyone has moments of frustration?

Most people feel like giving up (and many do) at various points in their efforts. This is not a process that follows a steady line of progress. It is more a tangled line, running up and down.

This is important work. And that is what makes it so tough. Important things often feel the most frustrating… especially when they are not going the way you want them to go. But, and let me say this again, it is important work, saving your marriage.

Let me tell you the 5 things to do when you are discouraged, to help you keep moving forward. Listen to the episode below.

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3 Barriers and Beyond

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 24, 2021

For some reason, your spouse just can’t see a way forward. You want things to be better… you want to save your marriage. But your spouse can’t (or won’t) see a possibility.

Why?

There are actually 3 real barriers your spouse might be experiencing. They just can’t see a way around any or all of the barriers.

Those 3 barriers are Hurting, Hopeless, and Helpless. Emotional struggles are painful — for all involved! And many times, it just doesn’t seem like there is a way to get help… and that can make you feel helpless. Add those together, and it can seem pretty helpless.

But is it?

Not if you can find a way beyond the 3 barriers.

In my VIP Program, I provide a weekly training, along with tools and coaching, to help people who are ready to make a real shift in their relationship. My System is kind of like the white belt training — knowing what you need to know to deal with a basic situation. VIP is the blue belt, designed for those wanting more effectiveness and efficiency in their efforts.

During one of those trainings awhile back, I addressed those 3 barriers. The training caused such a stir that I wrote a book about it. But those 3 barriers are so important that you need to know about them, too. So, I am doing something I don’t do: I’m giving you access to this VIP training. It IS a bit longer than my typical podcast, as we go deep (and the book goes deeper).

Listen in to learn the 3 barriers, and how to begin to get beyond them.

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Hope vs. Hopelessness

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 5, 2020

Miranda asked me, “What do I do? My spouse is hopeless that we can save our marriage. I’m losing hope, too.”

A couple of weeks ago, I did a training for members of my VIP Program, noting three barriers in the way of a spouse working on the marriage… along with how to respond. One of those barriers is hopelessness.

But if a spouse is hopeless… how can you hold onto hope?

There is an equation of hope: hope = goal + pathways to goal + action to get there.

If you noticed from the equation, a spouse (you) can choose hope, even when a spouse is hopeless. Especially if you recognize that the hopeless spouse cannot see that goal… cannot see a way forward (a path)… and therefore, can’t see a way to take action.

There are traps at each of those three elements of hope… and if one is not present, it isn’t really hope. So, let’s talk about how to grab each element, keep it in place, and keep moving forward.

Listen to the episode below.

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