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my spouse isn’t pulling weight

Marriage Lie #4: Marriage is 50 / 50
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Lie of marriage #4: Marriage is 50/50. It isn’t. Marriage is All In.Equal partnership.  That is what a marriage is about, when it is healthy.  Right?

Right??

Nope.  Just another marriage lie.

Oh, not on purpose!  Nope, these marriage lies are not intentional.  Just not true.  Unfortunately, as people repeat them, they believe them.  And those beliefs have consequence.  They can eat away at the foundations of a marriage, simply because the lie is believed.  So, actions are taken on a false belief.

For example, with this lie… if you believe that marriage is 50/50, an equal partnership… and you decide your spouse is not putting in their 50, then you have reason for upset.  Reason for demands.  Reason for feeling taken advantage of.

Here is the TL;DR:  marriage is NOT 50/50.  It is all in/all in.

But to understand more about why marriage is not 50/50… and to discover what it really is… and how that changes things, listen to the episode below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Lie #1:  If you struggle, it’s wrong
Lie #2:  Your spouse should meet all your needs
Lie #3:  Conflict is a sign of trouble
Immutable Laws of Marriage Series
Grab the Save The Marriage System

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Marriage is NOT 50/50
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Marriage is NOT 50/50: Immutable Law of MarriageMany marriages are ruined by 2 people, each wanting to put their fair share into it.  “You put in your half, and I put in my half,” seems to be the thought.  Sounds good.  Fair.  Equal.

And destined for disaster.

It makes sense, doesn’t it, to see things that way?  Both people should be putting in their fair share, right?

The problem is it doesn’t take long for one or both to say, “You aren’t putting in your ‘fair share.'”  Which is quickly followed with, “So, neither will I.”

This is a Balance Book Marriage.  And it is destined for problems.

First, we often don’t notice what a spouse is putting in (and tend to exaggerate what we are putting in).  So we are balancing against fiction.

Second, there are times when a spouse doesn’t have it to put in (life distractions, illnesses, etc.).

A better model is “All In.”  Let’s talk about why (as we wrap up the Immutable Laws of Marriage Series).

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE
#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)
#3 We ALL Have Fear
#4 There Is NO Pause
#5 Connection Is The Lifeblood
#6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress
#7 Love Is What You Do
#8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse
#9 You Have To Show Up
#10 Civility and Respect Is A Choice
#11 Trust Is A Gift
#12 Forgiveness Is Not A Blank Check
#13 Boundaries Protect A Marriage

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