Can Separation Save (or Cost You) a Marriage?
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg
You want to save your marriage. Your spouse seems to only want to destroy it. That is a pretty common scenario for people who visit my website.
And so, I often have the question asked, “Should we separate? Will a separation save my marriage?”
Can a separation save a marriage?
Short answer: yes, it can.
Longer answer: a separation can save a marriage, but it is statistically unlikely. And in my experience, a separation is a step in the wrong direction.
Some recent statistics show that around 79% of couples who separate end up divorced. In other words, 8 out of every 10 couples who separate will divorce.
I view separation as an absolute last resort to save a marriage. It is, in my opinion, that unlikely to help.
But here is the thing: if you are stuck in a conflicted and hurting marriage, it can be a very appealing solution. And yes, you can find “fans” of separation. There are people who tell you it is an important step in restoring a marriage.
Those people are ignoring the statistics.
They are appealing to your sense of relief that can come from a break in the conflict. More often than not, a separation amounts to a “trial divorce.”
But are there better solutions? Absolutely. Here is one.
In this podcast training, I tell you why separation is problematic — so that you understand that. I also tell you how to structure a separation, if it is inevitable and a last resort. Listen below for help with separation.
RESOURCES:
Article on Separating
Save The Marriage System
Virtual Coaching Program (IF you have the System)
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
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I think I have made it clear that I am not a fan of separation. Generally, it is a trial run at divorce, a “dress rehearsal.”