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Posts Tagged :

negative spouse

Dealing with Negativity
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How to deal with negativity when you are saving your marriage.It happens.  In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity.  A spouse negative about the marriage.  Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage.  You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt).

Negativity comes from several sources:  fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity.

Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly — negatively impacting your capacity to save and improve your marriage.

Is there another alternative?

You bet there is!

I would suggest four ways to respond that can change the outcome.  Listen to the podcast for the four ways you can respond differently to the negativity, making sure that you don’t catch it yourself.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
You Need A Plan
Dealing With Your Resentment
Dealing With Your Spouse’s Resentment
Grab The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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Staying Stuck in the Negative – What DO you DO?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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[Have a question about saving your marriage?  Ask it by emailing me HERE.]

"Why does my spouse only remember and focus on negative things? Why can't my wife/husband remember the good times and see the changes that are happening?"Several listeners asked why a spouse only remembers the negative, or only dwells on the negative.  Why don’t they remember the good times or see the good things?

Over the years, I have noticed this as a recurring and common issue in your efforts to save your marriage.  A spouse’s thoughts just stay on the negative.  Maybe thinking about what is going on now or remembering what happened then.  (Memories are just current thoughts about past events — not accurate representations of the past.)

Since this is such a common phenomenon, I thought it might be good to cover it in a podcast episode.

If your spouse is stuck in the negative (or you find yourself stuck in the negative), let’s look at the reasons it happens… and what you can do about it!

RELATED RESOURCES
Book:  How To Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps (I have a chapter on changing limiting beliefs)
How’s Your Attitude?
Hope and Stockdale Paradox
Where To Focus
“The Last Straw”
Going Pro
Program: Save The Marriage

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS