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save your marriage podcast

Why Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

SpouseDoesntSeeChangeYou’ve been working hard. You’ve been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You’ve been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.

You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown.

But then, your spouse doesn’t notice any change at all!

What happened? Why can’t your spouse see the changes?

It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating. But there is a reason your spouse isn’t noticing (or admitting to noticing) the changes.

In fact, there are 3 reasons why your spouse doesn’t see the changes.

Let’s take a look at the 3 reasons, and start creating a strategy to make those changes visible.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
“Can Every Marriage Be Saved?”
“Can MY Marriage Be Saved?”
How One Person Did It!
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

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3 Reasons Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

SpouseDoesntSeeChangeYou’ve been working hard.  You’ve been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself.  You’ve been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.

You feel good about what you are doing.  You believe you are gaining grown.

But then, your spouse doesn’t notice any change at all!

What happened?  Why can’t your spouse see the changes?

It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating.  But there is a reason your spouse isn’t noticing (or admitting to noticing) the changes.

In fact, there are 3 reasons why your spouse doesn’t see the changes.

Let’s take a look at the 3 reasons, and start creating a strategy to make those changes visible.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Save The Marriage System
VIP Program (If you have the System and are ready to Up Your Game)

 

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Love Is A Gift, Not A Transaction!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Love is a gift, not a transaction.You try to show love to your spouse. . . and you get nothing in return.  You try to let your spouse know how much you love your spouse. . . and you get nothing back.

Let me say that I do not think it is alright to be in a relationship where none of your needs are met.

But I want to challenge you:  are you doing those things, so that your needs will be met?

If so, you are not giving love, you are trying to make a transaction: “I do this for you, so you do that for me.”

That is a recipe for hurt and pain.

Love is a gift.  And only when it is freely given can it be accepted without manipulation or expectation.

Let me say that again:

Love is a gift, not a transaction.

Sometimes, I hear a spouse complain, “I always think there are strings attached.  It feels so needy and manipulative.”  While they can’t quite put there finger on it, this is the reason.  Their spouse is doing “loving” things, but not without strings attached, expectations just below the surface.

This behavior often grows into a relationship, contaminating it.  At first, you do things because you want the other person to know how much you care.  Then, over time, it is more and more about feeling cared for.  Maybe it is a hug, hoping for a hug in return.  Perhaps it is an “I love you,” so you can be assured of an “I love you” back.  Or maybe it is a “backrub,” with hopes and pressure it will lead to more.

Love is a gift, freely given.

Transactions are for businesses and banks.

The gift of love is only felt as love, when it is given with no strings attached.

Let’s talk about it in today’s podcast!

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST:
The Balance Book Marriage
Interview with Gary Chapman – Love Experiment2 Necessary Feelings
Save The Marriage System

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The Power of The 4 P’s: #37 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

You may be familiar with my 3 C’s of working on your marriage.  Today, we make a shift and look at the 4 P’s of maintaining your mindset and approach.

How do you save your marriage when you keep getting pulled off balance by the actions (or inactions) of your spouse?  You stick with the 4 P’s.  You shift your mindset to see that this can take some time, that you need to keep on moving forward, but thoughtfully.

“How” you ask?  By focusing on the 4 P’s.  Let me tell you about them in this week’s podcast.

Let me know how YOU stick with the 4 P’s in the comments area below.

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