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therapist said to divorce

“Is ‘Trying’ Disrespectful?” – When A Spouse Wants Out
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

"Help!  My spouse said I was disrespecting my spouse's feelings by trying to save our marriage!  My spouse says 'We tried therapy,' but we barely went!"“Gem” wrote me after a recent episode of my podcast.  In that episode, a therapist said, after one single session (where divorce had not been mentioned) that the client needed to prepare for divorce.

In Gem’s case, her husband used therapy as the excuse that they “had tried therapy but it didn’t work.”  But he went further, saying that if Gem did not go along with his desire to divorce, it amounted to her disregarding (and disrespecting) his emotions.

I would have said, “WHAT??”, except I have heard the same thing over and over.

Often enough that I have even wondered if some Pro-Divorce “expert” had given that as the secret recipe to shift a spouse out of “save the marriage mode.” (Yes, those folks do exist… and yes, spouses do find them… and use them to arm against staying married — as if you need to arm against that!!)

What does it mean when a spouse says, “You are disrespecting my feelings by trying to save our marriage”?  And what do you do?  IS it disrespectful?  SHOULD you just go along and give up?

I cover it in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

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