Posts Tagged :

what to do to save my marriage

How You Show Up
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

How Are You Showing Up In Life? That is how you are showing up in your marriage.We all “show ourselves” in our interactions with others. Sometimes, we truly Show Up, bringing our best self to the relationship.

Other times, we bring an angry/resentful presence to the table. Other times, it might be a cold/distant presence. And still other times, it might be a needy/desperate presence.

As you may have guessed, an angry or distant or needy presence rarely serves the relationship or the improvement of a relationship.

Maybe you think you are just responding to what is coming your way… that you are just following your spouse’s lead… or the lead of the world around you.

But we all get to choose how we will Show Up.

We get to choose how we want to be, who we want to be, in all of our relationships. We don’t have to leave it to reaction or fear, resentment or hurt. We can choose how and who we will be in life.

How do YOU Show Up?

Listen for how to Show Up the way you want to!

RELATED RESOURCES
3 C’s of Saving a Marriage
Forgiveness and Marriage
Apologies and Marriage
How To Really Show Up
Grab The Save The Marriage System

2 Actions that Do More Harm than Good
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Two actions many people do when their marriage is in crisis, that only cause more harm. If you want to save your marriage, don’t do this!You know that your marriage is in trouble. Your spouse said so. Maybe it was the “things have to change” speech. Or maybe it was the “I love you, but I’m not in love” speech. Or maybe it was a request to separate or even divorce.

It comes into clear focus. Sure, you knew things weren’t great. But you thought they would improve, that you would find your way back together. Instead, the reality is crashing in.

Your marriage is in trouble.

What do you do? How do you respond?

There are 2 actions that I see over and over again. Both of them, while well intentioned, actually make things worse. Instead of improvement, the crisis only deepens. The chance of recovery only plummets.

And you only wanted to turn things around!

Wrong actions, even with the best of intentions, can cause more damage than good.

I cover the dangerous actions in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
The No Contact Rule is CRAP
The Importance of Connection
Don’t Chase!
There is no PAUSE BUTTON
Healing Disconnection
The Save The Marriage System
My Books

“I Want to Save My Marriage” Q & A
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Questions about how to save your marriage, even if only you want to.  How to start, where to focus, what to do.In previous podcast episodes, I have answered questions submitted by listeners.  In fact, I still do.  You can email your questions by clicking here.  But since this podcast goes to listeners around the world, submitted questions need to be a) applicable to others, and b) not so broad that it is impossible to answer in a simple episode.

But then, there are the short questions.  Both in the question and the needed response. So, in this episode, I round up the short questions, so I can address them all.

All of them, though, started with this:
“I want to save my marriage!”

Most of the questions demonstrated the beginning point of learning… not even knowing the question to ask, but knowing what you want.  The senders knew they wanted to save their marriage, but weren’t sure even where to start and what to ask.

But here is the important thing:  the questions still apply to you, whether you are at the same point or further along.  Listen in to hear my response to questions like where to start, what about some tricks/hints, what to do if a spouse isn’t interested, what a plan might look like, how long this process might help, and what to do now.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Can A Marriage Be Saved?
Why You Need a Plan
Why Your Spouse is Resisting
How Long Does a Crisis Last?
Why Fear is a Problem
Grab the Save The Marriage System HERE