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Monthly Archives :

December 2016

Why Getting A Spouse To Agree Is Dangerous
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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whygettingspouseagreedangerousI know. You want to convince your spouse to see things your way.  So, you set out to “get” your spouse to agree with you.

…And you have now begun walking down a very dangerous path.

(I bet you didn’t think so, did you?)

Almost always, trying to get your spouse to agree will backfire — and even make things worse.  Sometimes, much worse.

Can I share with you why this can be so dangerous and how to avoid this problem?  This is something you want to fully understand.

(If you want a better way, GRAB THIS and get started.)

 

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Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Marriage is about becoming a WE.There are some “laws” of marriage.  You may not even know what they are.  And if you don’t know what they are, you may just be breaking them.  And if you are breaking them, well…

If you don’t know about the law of gravity, but you obey it, you are safe.  But whether you know about gravity or not… if you try to break it, it will likely break you.  I have tons of scars to highlight the many times I lost to gravity.

Don’t let your relationship lose to the laws, just because you don’t know them… and you don’t know you are breaking them.  14 Laws are below.  Click the link for further training on each.

You can find the entire Immutable Laws of Marriage Series here:

Immutable Laws Of Marriage Series (Click On Each Link Below)

#1 Marriage Is About Becoming A WE

#2 Marriage Is NOT A Vehicle for Happiness (Or Misery)

#3 We ALL Have Fear

#4 There Is NO Pause

#5 Connection Is The Lifeblood

#6 The Goal Of Conflict Is Progress

#7 Love Is What You Do

#8 Look For The Best In Your Spouse

#9 You Have To Show Up

#10 Civility and Respect Is A Choice

#11 Trust Is A Gift

#12 Forgiveness Is Not A Blank Check

#13 Boundaries Protect A Marriage

#14 Marriage Is NOT 50/50

(If you need some help in putting it all together and saving your marriage, GRAB MY SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM HERE.)

5 Reasons To Save Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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5reasonssavemarriageSometimes, in the midst of trying to save your marriage, you can get lost.  You can forget why you are doing this.  Your spouse’s negativity, the negativity of others, may drown out your “why.”

Don’t let it.  This is important work.  Not easy.  Not comfortable.  But important.

We live in a “disposable” society.  No need to learn and grow.  No reason to work and improve.  Just toss it aside.  And the legal system makes it so easy.  A colleague of mine, Mike McManus, says that “no-fault” divorce is the wrong term.  It is really just “unilateral” divorce.

In this week’s podcast, I want to remind you of the good reasons, the powerful reasons, why you are working to save your marriage.

Maybe this is a little bit of “pep talk,” but it is really just a reminder of just how important your efforts are.

If you have other important reasons, please include them in the comments area below.

(And here is a training on why “Why” is so important.)

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Why You and Your Plan Are Stalled
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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whyplanstalledAre your efforts to save your marriage getting stalled?  Maybe we should take a look at your plan.

You do have a plan, don’t you?

Let’s talk about 5 reasons your plan (or lack of plan) may be the trouble — and what we can do to make a switch.

To be crystal clear, all 5 reasons are in your control.  YOU can choose how you move forward in each of these issues.  You may not have control over your spouse’s reaction, but you do have choices in your planning and execution of your plan.

Check out these related trainings:
Points of Failure
Your Reasons Why

And check out these resources:
How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps book
The Save The Marriage System

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Don’t Get Caught In The FOF Trap!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Avoid the FOF Trap -- Fear of Failure!There is a trap waiting. It springs on you, sometimes even before you get started with saving your marriage. That same trap is waiting for you at every point of the process. You can easily get stuck in it.

What’s the trap? I call it the FOF Trap — Fear of Failure Trap.

We humans have a disproportionate fear of failure that we can either set aside or allow to trap us.

How many actions and options have you missed because you were afraid it might not work out? How many opportunities pass us all by because we are afraid that it we might fail? Oddly, when we allow FOF to dominate, we absolutely fail and miss out.

Don’t let this trap keep you from restoring your relationship. Decide there is another option. Move boldly toward your efforts.

Listen to this week’s podcast to find out how to avoid the FOF Trap.

(Ready to move forward?  Grab the Save The Marriage System.)

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