February 2018 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Return To Love: Debbie Rivera

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg February 28, 2018 February 28, 2018

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 28, 2018

Last week, you got to hear from me a little about who I am and why I do what I do. Over the next few weeks, I want to introduce you to my amazing team of coaches. Not just introduce you, but let you listen to their wisdom that can help you in your efforts to save your marriage.

Coach Debbie Rivera

This week, I introduce you to Coach Debbie Rivera. Debbie is a gem of a person and a diamond of a coach! She brings skill and integrity into her coaching and her life. Her calm and cool can guide you through a crisis. Her skills can equip you to take on your crisis effectively and efficiently.

As we talk, Debbie shares one of the most important shifts that must happen in the process of saving a marriage: returning to love.

Listen as Debbie and I discuss the process of returning to love.

(And if you want to contact Debbie, CLICK TO EMAIL)

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Why I Do What I Do

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 21, 2018

Dr. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Over the next few weeks, I want you to meet my talented staff. I have some of the top relationship coaches working with me to provide great help to couples around the world. And I am proud of the work we do.

Why?

Because it comes from my deep belief that healthy marriages are crucial for a healthy family, community, and world.

I jump in this week to tell you about who I am and why I do what I do. Just so you know where I am coming from. Just so you have a better feel for who is behind the Save The Marriage System (and this podcast, books, workshops, coaching, etc.).

I’ll share a bit about my early life, my training, and my convictions about saving marriages.

Consider this an introduction, if you are new to my program. Consider it further discussion if you have been around for a bit.

Either way, here I am!

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Don’t Blame Valentine!

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 14, 2018

Let me just say, from the outset, I AM a fan of romance.

That said, I DON’T like when “romantic feelings” are used as the yardstick for a marriage. If you are dating someone and have no romantic feelings, ever, that is a reason for concern. If you have been married for awhile and are not feeling the romance… that is something to work on. Not a reason to walk away.

Which brings us to the last couple of days. Today (the day this episode comes out) is Valentine’s Day. According to tradition, it honors a priest, Valentine. During the reign of Emperor Claudius II in third century Rome, Valentine disobeyed the emperor. Claudius had decided that young single men made good soldiers. Not so good when attached to a love. So, he forbade marriage.

But Valentine persisted in marrying young couples in love. And according to tradition, he paid the price of disobeying with his life.

There are other twists and turns to the history of Valentine’s day. But the fact remains that the day is in honor of St. Valentine.

Which is the point I think we miss. He stood for marriage. Not just romance. Marriage. He didn’t condone love. He supported marriage. He married those in love. It was not him trying to get people to fall in love. He was marrying those in love.

Why does that matter?

Because of how we have elevated the feeling of being “in love.” Otherwise known as infatuation. An unsustainable rush of excitement and adrenaline that acts like obsession and addiction. But has somehow become the yardstick of a successful marriage.

Is it great when those emotions resurface throughout a marriage? Absolutely.

But when they become the yardstick… trouble.

Listen to the podcast for more.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

5 Reasons Your Marriage Isn’t Turning Around

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 7, 2018

I often get emails and phone calls asking, “Why isn’t my marriage turning around? Why aren’t things improving?”

My first assessment is to see how long they have been trying. (I heard from a guy that told me he had spent the afternoon on the marriage, and it was no different!) Sometimes, the timeframe is too short. But sometimes, the efforts have gone along for awhile.

Next, I ask how long the crisis has been going on. Generally, it has been going on longer than the person thinks. They just didn’t know it was in trouble.

After that, the primary reasons why a marriage hasn’t turned (yet) fit within 5 categories.

Your strategy changes, depending upon which category your marriage (or more accurately, your spouse’s response) fits into.

If you can identify the category, you can choose your response for that particular category.

Let’s go through the categories in this episode of the podcast and see if we can plot a course that turns things around.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS