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Monthly Archives :

April 2018

Beware of “Easy” Tips and Tricks
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Saving your marriage is simple. That does not mean it is easy. Nor does it mean an easy trick or tip will work.It’s a common question.

And a dangerous question.

“Give me an easy trick or tip that will save my marriage.”  I heard it last week from a phone call.

Another one just wanted the “Cliff Notes” on saving their marriage.  No need to go in-depth.  Just an overview.  And “easy” way to save their marriage.

First, let me be clear:  I do believe that both people were quite sincere in their desires to save their marriage.  I think they both wanted to turn things around, to “fix” things.

But… they wanted the “short cut.”  No muss.  No fuss.  Just a quick way to turn it around.

Quick question:  just before you go into surgery, do you want to think your doctor just looked up a quick “tip” on your surgery — maybe just read the overview from a journal or book — or, would you rather know that the doctor had put in the time and effort to learn about how to do the surgery?

I know my answer.  I want him to KNOW what he is doing.  Not have a quick overview.

If it is just a book for a test, Cliff Notes!  I used them (I hate to admit).  But for something important?

We need to go in-depth.  Not to Ph.D. level (I did that so you don’t have to).  Enough, though, to be really doing the work.  Not just trying to get by and slide through the crisis.

The process of saving your marriage is actually pretty simple.  Which should never be confused with easy.  (I cover this in my book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps.)

Don’t fall for the “easy tip/trick” or look for the easy answer.  Make it real.

This is what I discuss in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast.  You can listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
“I Saved My Marriage”
“No Contact” is Crap
Reverse Psychology
You Need A Plan
The Save The Marriage System

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Making The Mosaic: Paula Martin
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Over these past few weeks, I have been letting my team of coaches share from their wealth of knowledge.  I’m betting you have been learning lots.  This week, we continue those interviews.

Coach Paula Martin

Paula has been with me since the beginning of my team of coaches.  But long before Paula came onto my team, she was already coaching.  Her training is in Relationship Coaching, but she is also trained and skilled as a mediator.  A core of mediation is finding a common goal or common interest, then building from there.  Not a bad skill for relationship recovery!

In our discussion, Paula brought up a powerful image:  the mosaic.  Paula noted that many times, when something in life seems shattered (like, for instance, a marriage), people feel hopeless that there is nothing to be done.  It is shattered and ruined, they believe.  Paula notes that every beautiful mosaic is made from broken pieces.  Pieces that are put together in a beautiful pattern that wasn’t possible before it was broken.

Sometimes, something beautiful can come out of the broken.  Many times, this is true with marital problems.

If you hear something that fits for you — if you resonate with what Paula discusses — you might want to contact her.  You can email her by CLICKING HERE.

 

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Growing After Loss: Dave Crispin
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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I’ve been introducing you to my team of coaches — and to their wisdom — over the past few weeks.  If you’ve been listening, you have heard from some talented and seasoned coaches.  And you have had the chance to get some great nuggets of knowledge from their years of experience.

Coach Dave Crispin

This week is no different — except for the distance.  My team member from “Down Under,” Dave Crispin and I had a late evening/early morning talk that you get to overhear today.  Listen in as Dave talks about his own journey to today.

Dave didn’t start as a coach.  After his own loss, Dave found himself learning and growing.  Not because things were easy, but because things had been tough and he knew he had to grow.

And along the way, Dave discovered his passion for helping people as they were struggling on their own life path.

While helping others grow, Dave discovered his capacity for helping couples grow, even when their marriage was in trouble.

Listen in as Dave and I discuss how to grow through the challenging times, even using the challenges as inspiration.

If you hear something that clicks for you, and if you want to contact Dave, CLICK HERE to email him.

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