September 2021 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Why Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg September 29, 2021 September 28, 2021

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 29, 2021

You’ve been working hard. You’ve been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You’ve been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.

You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown.

But then, your spouse doesn’t notice any change at all!

What happened? Why can’t your spouse see the changes?

It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating. But there is a reason your spouse isn’t noticing (or admitting to noticing) the changes.

In fact, there are 3 reasons why your spouse doesn’t see the changes.

Let’s take a look at the 3 reasons, and start creating a strategy to make those changes visible.

Listen below.

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Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 22, 2021

It almost seems redundant, doesn’t it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something — say, for example, your marriage.

I say IF you have limited beliefs.

Full disclosure: We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us. We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs. We just don’t notice them. And we pay a price for that.

Especially since we usually fail to notice or address these limiting beliefs.

Do you think your limiting beliefs MIGHT be limiting your life and your marriage?

I’m betting that is the case, since it is true for all of us.

Here’s the good news: you can change your limiting beliefs. Once you know what they are. And decide to change them

Listen below for this week’s podcast.

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Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways….

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 15, 2021

I am way too uncool to ever use “Diss” in a conversation.

That said, I will drop it into a headline, because I see too many couples “dissing” their relationship, without even meaning to.

Distraction, Disinterest, and Disconnection lead to Disrespect of your relationship.

And it often becomes habit, usually without you meaning to.

The bad news is, these 3 ways you “diss” a relationship eat away at the foundations.

The good news is that once you know what you are doing, you can change it. Even turn it around.

Learn how you are dissing your marriage, and how to stop in this week’s podcast.

Listen below.

RESOURCES:
Power of Connection
Marriage Crisis Mistakes to Avoid
Why Your Efforts May Be Failing
Save The Marriage System

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The Danger of a Shortcut

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 8, 2021

I admit it. The phone call got under my skin. We were traveling and I answered the call. The person asked if I was the “save the marriage guy.” I told him I was. He told me he didn’t want my System. Just the secret, the “short-cut.”

When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn’t want to go through all of that. He just needed the “trick,” the short-cut.

We went round and round for a couple more minutes.

I realized I was not going to convince him, but all the “short-cuts” he had been trying is what got him to here.

He hung up, likely still looking for the “short-cut.”

And I was left thinking. Wondering. Pondering.

And realizing that there is a distinct difference between being efficient and trying to find the “trick.” Those “tricks” are all the things on the internet about “hypnosis,” “reverse psychology,” “spells,” or any of those other manipulations.

You can be efficient in your efforts. You can be effective in your plan. But not by taking the “short-cuts” that are really just tricks.

Can I tell you more about this? Listen to the podcast below.

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Have You Been “Friend Zoned”?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 1, 2021

I often get a message that goes something like this, “We have been making progress on our marriage. I’ve been working hard to reconnect, and think I have done a good job. But lately, we don’t seem to be making any more progress. Did my spouse Friend Zone me??”

Since I have heard this from coaching clients and total strangers, people in my program and listeners of my podcast, I thought I needed to address it.

First, let me just say, there is a “Zone” of disconnection and recovery that can feel like a stagnant friend zone. But is that really what it is?

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss what people mean when they say “Friend Zoned” or “Roommates Only,” and why it happens. I also discuss what a healthy marriage looks like. We dive into the process of connection (along with disconnection and reconnection). And I talk about why you always pass through this zone… in both directions. Then, we discuss why some people get stuck here. And we look at how to make sure you don’t get stuck.

Listen below.

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