convincing wife to save marriage – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

“Is ‘Trying’ Disrespectful?” – When A Spouse Wants Out

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg July 31, 2019 July 22, 2019

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 31, 2019

“Gem” wrote me after a recent episode of my podcast. In that episode, a therapist said, after one single session (where divorce had not been mentioned) that the client needed to prepare for divorce.

In Gem’s case, her husband used therapy as the excuse that they “had tried therapy but it didn’t work.” But he went further, saying that if Gem did not go along with his desire to divorce, it amounted to her disregarding (and disrespecting) his emotions.

I would have said, “WHAT??”, except I have heard the same thing over and over.

Often enough that I have even wondered if some Pro-Divorce “expert” had given that as the secret recipe to shift a spouse out of “save the marriage mode.” (Yes, those folks do exist… and yes, spouses do find them… and use them to arm against staying married — as if you need to arm against that!!)

What does it mean when a spouse says, “You are disrespecting my feelings by trying to save our marriage”? And what do you do? IS it disrespectful? SHOULD you just go along and give up?

I cover it in this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

“How Do You Deal With Bitterness And Resentment?” – Listener Question

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 26, 2019

.Resentment eats away at any relationship. It can destroy a marriage. Bitterness takes over and every good memory or thought is re-remembered and “bitter-ized” The foundational connection in the relationship is sapped of energy. Love and connection is slowly replaced with hate and disgust.

Can it be healed? Can you heal the resentment?

“Jared” wrote to me about his situation. It seems that his spouse has felt unappreciated for years. And even when Jared tried to change, to do better, that only threw fuel on the fire.

Instead of healing, the resentment seemed to grow.

So, Jared asked me, “How do you deal with long term bitterness and resentment?”

Maybe your particular situation and details are different. But anger and resentment (and the ensuing bitterness) affects many marriages. Troubled marriages are always hurting marriages, which comes out in anger and bitterness.

Can anything be done? Is there a path toward healing?

I cover the situation and the hope in the podcast. Listen below.

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS