feelings and marriage

It’s a false belief in our culture that we need to “trust our gut” and “follow our emotions.”  Emotions change.  Feelings shift.  And we can’t even say what our emotions are, much of the time.

Sure, you can feel an emotion.  But tell me what it is?  What it means?  Why it is there right now… and might be gone in 5 minutes?  Or tomorrow?

Let’s be clear:  a hurting marriage is painful.  Conflict is tough.  Not connecting with someone close to you is frustrating.  But does that mean that it is time to give up and walk away?  What if your emotions are all over the place, making you feel like you need to give up and walk away.

Is that a reason to give up?

Notice:  “feel like” is seen as a “reason.”

Many people tell me they just need to “follow their emotions.”  I remind them that there is a group of people who do this… children — around 3 years old!  Because they think that the emotion is truth.  They are angry, so they throw a fit.  5 minutes later, the anger is gone, so they are happy to play.  Until the next upheaval.

Part of maturity is recognizing that emotions are temporal.  And we don’t have to react to an emotion.  We can choose our response.

Especially around things like marriage.  Important things.

Listen to this podcast episode to learn more.

RELATED RESOURCES
Anxiety-Anger Anchor
“Why Does It Hurt So Much?”
Addicted To Blame
Expressive Or Avoidant
3 Relationship Killers
The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS