how to apologize – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

From Apology to Reconciling

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg January 13, 2021 January 12, 2021

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 13, 2021

You have already journeyed to here. Maybe your relationship is hurting and in pain. Maybe your connection has gone cold. But however you got here, whatever the path, you want to get somewhere different.

Somewhere better.

It may seem cliche, but it is a journey. And this last part of the journey, it has some stops along the way.

Many times, people think (and want) it to be a linear path, stopping along the way, but arriving at the end, reconciled and in love.

Those four big stops?

Apology
Forgiving
Trusting
Reconciling

Many assume that one follows the other, just points along the road. But it is more like a subway system that might arrive at one station, having never paused at another. You may pass one or more, or even arrive at each one, seemingly out of order.

In reality, each of those four stops are distinct and separate. They can happen separate from, or even without, the other stops.

Let’s talk about these four stops in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.

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Did Your Apology Fail?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 8, 2020

You apologized to your spouse… maybe on your own, or maybe because I suggested it.

And…

…

Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

No change, no difference.

Does that mean that your efforts are over? That your attempts to save your marriage are a failure?

Just to reassure you, an apology letter with no response does not necessarily mean it was a failure. And it sure doesn’t mean that your efforts are over.

This week, I am answering Chris’s questions about an apology letter “fail.” If you have a question, you can submit it at [email protected] for consideration.

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The Power of Apology and Forgiving

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 10, 2018

Any intimate relationship is going to lead to some hurts along the way. It’s just impossible to be that close to someone and not bump into each other (and each other’s emotions) every now and then.

The question is what you do when the hurt hangs around. It lingers and lurks, eating away at the connection — unless it is released.

Which is where apologies and forgiving come in.

Each serves a purpose to clear the air.

But to be clear, they aren’t necessarily linked. You might apologize and not be forgiven. You might forgive even without an apology. Each comes from your choice.

Let’s talk about what’s behind each: the elements of an apology and the decision to forgive.

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