how to help my marriage – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Helping or Hurting??

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg January 4, 2023 January 3, 2023

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 4, 2023

You’ve been working on saving your marriage… and you aren’t seeing the traction you want. Or maybe is just isn’t moving as fast as you would like.

Sometimes, it can take more time than you think or want.

But are there times that your efforts are doing more harm than good?

Are there times you are hurting, not helping, your relationship and your chances at saving it?

Yes.

There are common situations I see in my coaching, where someone’s efforts to save a marriage are actually doing more harm than good. Interestingly, people make the same mistakes others have made.

More interestingly, they are easy to see when they are pointed out. And more importantly, they can be corrected, once you can see them.

So, let’s talk about the times when people do more harm than good in their efforts to save a marriage.

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Work on Me, Work on WE?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

August 14, 2019

What do you do if your spouse decides they need to work on themselves… and then they may (or may not) be willing to work on the marriage? What do you do if your spouse just refuses to work on your marriage?

That is the question of the week, asked by Sam. He said his wife wants to better herself. Then, maybe she would address the marriage.

As part of my series, answering your questions, I want to address this one. Because it might just be YOUR question, too! (If not, you can SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION HERE.)

Many times, when a marriage is in trouble, a spouse (or maybe you) just won’t address the relationship issues, insisting they (or you) need to work on themselves (or yourself) before looking at the marriage.

The binary question: “work on me or work on WE?” stands out. But does it have to be so binary. Is it really one or the other? Or is there another way to approach this?

If you try to force a spouse to work on the relationship, that won’t work… and might make things better. So, what CAN you do?

Listen to this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast for my response.

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