Posts Tagged :

infatuation

Love Isn’t (Only) Romantic
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

What does it mean if the passion and romance are missing?  Does that mean the love is gone?  Covered in this episode of Save The Marriage Podcast.“Our marriage is broken,” she told me.  “We don’t have the passion anymore, so I don’t think we should stay married.”

Missing passion… is it the end of marriage, or something else?

Most relationships are sparked by infatuation.  Call it passion or romance, but the desire to be with that person, that overwhelming attraction, is a building-block for a long-term relationship — including marriage.  It is, though, not the goal.

For most, that part of a relationship is a stage.  It naturally cools over time.  This is just the nature of an attraction.  It tempers over time.  Which means that we can get back to the rest of life — the parts of life that get disregarded in the heat of passion.

Does that mean you must just let romance and passion fall by the wayside?  Not at all.  You just can’t count on it as the focus.

Unfortunately, people often judge a marriage dead because the passion is missing. Also unfortunately, they haven’t nurtured the passion and romance.  The fact that it disappeared is more a reflection of the damaged connection than a sign the marriage was not meant to be, or has irretrievably failed.

I discuss the Passion Paradox in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Love Is Not Effortless
Does Romance Kill A Relationship?
Where DID Those Feelings Go?
Save The Marriage System

Where DID Those Feelings Go?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Where DID those feelings go?Maybe your spouse said it.  Or maybe you’re feeling it:  those feelings just aren’t there.

No tingles, no butterflies, no desires.  Is it you?  Is it your spouse?  Were they ever there?

Those feelings of attraction and romance are not well understood by most people.  So, when they aren’t there (or are at least in short supply), many believe it to be an indication that the relationship is wrong, destined for failure, or maybe permanently broken.

There are 5 root causes of why those feelings might be missing.  The bad news is that there is nothing you can do about 1.  The good news is you have a choice about the other 4.

Learn what happens to those feelings.  But more importantly, discover what to do about it.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Attraction
Connection
Love Languages
System To Save Your Marriage