save the marriage apology letter – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Did Your Apology Fail?

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg January 8, 2020 December 27, 2019

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 8, 2020

You apologized to your spouse… maybe on your own, or maybe because I suggested it.

And…

…

Nothing. Nada. Zero. Zilch.

No change, no difference.

Does that mean that your efforts are over? That your attempts to save your marriage are a failure?

Just to reassure you, an apology letter with no response does not necessarily mean it was a failure. And it sure doesn’t mean that your efforts are over.

This week, I am answering Chris’s questions about an apology letter “fail.” If you have a question, you can submit it at [email protected] for consideration.

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Of Apologies and Forgiving

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 6, 2018

We all have hurts from close relationships — and especially in marriages. It is impossible to be in such an intimate relationship and not bump into each other (in hurtful ways) over and over. The problem is when the hurts don’t heal.

Bumps, they happen. Continued pain and hurt from the bumps, that doesn’t have to happen.

Yet, many times, I watch couples dragging the hurts around for way to long. Weeks, months, even years. Not noticing the damage that is happening to the relationship along the way.

There are two parts to the process of healing: apology and forgiving. But, and this is important, they are not dependent upon each other. They are separate. Sometimes, people lump them together. And while they are related, one does not link to the other.

You may apologize and the other person, for example, may not forgive you. Likewise, the other person may not apologize, and yet you still choose to forgive.

Let’s talk about each of these processes and why they are not related… and why that is important. Listen below.

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The Power of Apology and Forgiving

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

January 10, 2018

Any intimate relationship is going to lead to some hurts along the way. It’s just impossible to be that close to someone and not bump into each other (and each other’s emotions) every now and then.

The question is what you do when the hurt hangs around. It lingers and lurks, eating away at the connection — unless it is released.

Which is where apologies and forgiving come in.

Each serves a purpose to clear the air.

But to be clear, they aren’t necessarily linked. You might apologize and not be forgiven. You might forgive even without an apology. Each comes from your choice.

Let’s talk about what’s behind each: the elements of an apology and the decision to forgive.

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