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Monthly Archives :

May 2015

11 Things Happy Couples Do Differently: Connection (part 2)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Success leaves a trail.  If you want more of something, take a look at those who have what you want.

In this podcast series, we are examining what happy couples do differently than other couples.

Last week, we looked at how happy couples deal with conflict differently.

This week, we examine five ways happy couples connect differently than other couples.

Connection is the lifeblood of a marriage.  Without that sense of connection, the relationship atrophies and begins to die.

But there are a group of couples that have learned to stay connected, and build their connection.  Learn their secrets in this week’s podcast episode.

RELATED RESOURCES:
11 Things Happy Couples Do Differently, Part 1
Connection Resources
Show Up!
Gratitude and Appreciation
5 Love Languages
Why Sex Is Important In A Marriage
The Truth About Attraction
The Save The Marriage System

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11 Things Happy Couples Do Differently: Conflict (part 1)
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

This week, we start a series on what happy couples do differently than other couples.

Success leaves a trail.  Experts have been saying this for decades.  If you want to get somewhere, look at people who have gotten there.  What do they do differently?  How have they managed to get themselves there?

Happy couples are not special.  They are no better trained than other couples.  They don’t have some special “coupling” gene.  They don’t come from better homes.  They aren’t “relationship geniuses.”

In fact, they are like all the other couples — except they do some things differently.  And those differences result in happy relationships.

So, what are those differences?  They are the focus of this series of free audios.

Over the course of the next three podcasts, we will examine 11 things happy couples do differently.

By taking a look at those 11 things, you can see the path.  You can see the trail.  And you can follow their map.

Over the years, I have noticed a truth:  100% of couples have struggles.  Around 50% find a way to work through those struggles.  But that doesn’t mean that 50% of couples are happy.  Only that they have chosen to stay together.

Couples really fall into 3 categories:

  1. Decide to bail because of the difficulties.
  2. Decide to “hang in there,” and just be miserable.
  3. Decide to learn from the struggles, grow, and build a great relationship.

This series is focused on how couples get to category 3.  This is not about “sticking it out,” nor is it about bailing, hoping to find a better option.  It is about building a great relationship, where you are and with your spouse.

In this episode, we take a look at 3 ways happy couples deal with conflict differently.  Learn their secrets and apply it to your relationship.

RELATED RESOURCES:
We All Have Issues
Why Should I Forgive?
2 Necessary Feelings
Your Brain At War
Save The Marriage System

 

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The Bonding Code with Bob Grant
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Did you know there is a science to bonding?

“Bonding” is what happens when people arrive at the place where they are so connected that they want to be together forever.

Here’s the problem:  many people think they have successfully bonded — but they aren’t!  The proof is how many marriages get into trouble.

But there is a pattern, a path, a code to bonding.  And while you may not navigate each stage, you will pay the price later on.  The bond won’t hold.

Sometimes, I try to use Crazy Glue.  You know that stuff that is supposed to hold something together forever?  Well, in my experience, it doesn’t work — or should I say, I don’t get it to work!

I have to make a confession:  I don’t really follow the directions.  They are there on the container.  You are supposed to clean and prep each side, place some on each side, hold them together, blah, blah, blah.

You see that “blah, blah, blah?”  We do the same thing with relationships.  Yes, there is a science, and yes, there is a path.  But instead of following it, a couple says, “We’ve got this.  We know how to do it.”

Strangely, since they have never done it before, I am not sure why they think they “have it.”  No surprise that down the road, there is trouble.  The “bond” doesn’t hold the two together.

Can it be fixed?

Bob Grant, Relationship ExpertYes.

Rebonding is possible.  But if you are working on re-bonding, maybe it is time to follow the instructions.

Join me, as I interview relationship expert, Bob Grant, on The Bonding Code.

We discuss the process of bonding, and what to do when that process is in trouble.

RESOURCES:
The Bonding Code
Podcast Episode:  The Truth About Attraction

 

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Chasing Is Killing Your Chances
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Do you find yourself chasing after your spouse?  Do you keep wondering why your spouse is so cool, distant, aloof, and emotionally unavailable?

You may be pursuing your spouse, and in unhealthy ways.  In fact, your spouse may be running away faster and faster, because your spouse is feeling the pursuit.

Why does this happen?  Is it you?  Is it your spouse?

Perhaps it is each of you, and perhaps it is both of you together.

Either way, the outcome is rarely positive.  You may feel abandoned and your spouse may feel suffocated.

If you are just noticing the tendency to chase after your spouse, it is time to change it, before more harm is done.  And if you are working to save your marriage, it is even more important to manage the emotions and the desire to chase.

Learn why this dynamic happens, and what to do to stop it.

RESOURCES MENTIONED:
The Save The Marriage System
The Virtual Coaching Program (email me)

 

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