February 2019 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Why “Space” Is Hard

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg February 27, 2019 February 5, 2019

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 27, 2019

So many marital crises start with this phrase, “I’m not happy.” In panic mode, a spouse reacts and things get worse.

The next step is often, “I need space.” But that is even scarier! And in panic mode, a spouse reacts and things get worse.

Maybe an in-house separation. Maybe a full separation. Emotional separation becomes physical separation.

All from a spouse stating an emotional state of concern: “I’m not happy.”

One part of dealing with a marital crisis is dealing with “emotional space.” It is crucial to understand emotional space.

Today, I want to discuss why that emotional space is so difficult to manage. Why do people get sucked into taking actions that cause more issues? Why do people find it so hard to give a spouse that requested “space”?

We discuss why “space” is so hard on this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Listen below.

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Before You Separate

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 20, 2019

You don’t want it. But your spouse insists. A separation has to happen.

Or maybe you thought you wanted a separation… hoping it would help. But after reading my stuff or listening to my podcasts, you might realize that this is NOT the best idea.

In fact, you realize that you have now escalated the crisis by not a little, but a lot! This is not an incrimental shift. It is much bigger.

So, now what?

What do you do to try and minimize the damage… even setting up the separation so that there is a way back?

Most people think separation might just be a way of getting things back “on track.” But not if you don’t set it up that way. Not if you don’t plan for resolution.

Separation does not have to be a disaster. But without planning, it often is.

In this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss what you need to do BEFORE you separate… so that it leads back to marriage.

Listen to the episode below.

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When Is It Time To Separate?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 13, 2019

I think I have made it clear that I am not a fan of separation. Generally, it is a trial run at divorce, a “dress rehearsal.”

But is there a time when it is necessary to separate? When it is actually a good idea to separate?

Many couples face this question every year. They ponder the question, mulling it over. Should they separate? What does a separation do for the prospects of saving a marriage?

Having had this conversation with couples and individuals many times over my career, I can tell you that the conversation, itself, is painful and tough. Much less, actually separating.

Sometimes, there has to be a separation. In fact, in one instance, I think it is absolutely necessary.

Then, there are times when you may want to resist, but realize that there is more damage done by NOT separating than by separating.

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I answer the question, “When is it time to separate?” Listen below.

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Oh, No! Valentine’s Day and A Marriage Crisis

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 9, 2019

It can be tricky. Valentine’s Day is coming and your marriage is in trouble. What do you do? Acknowledge it? Avoid it? Hope it passes… and you can breathe a sigh of relief?

I have talked about this issue in the past, but wanted to make sure you could get to the resources as quickly as possible.

Here are links to 3 articles and episodes of my podcast that will help you navigate the holiday:

Don’t Blame Valentine!

Valentine’s Day: A Dangerous Idea?

Marriage In Trouble: What To Do About Valentine’s Day!

And, if you are ready to save your marriage, and get back to having wonderful Valentine’s Day celebrations, PLEASE grab my Save The Marriage System

Grab the Save The Marriage System HERE

Are You Hurting Or Helping?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

February 6, 2019

You’ve been working on saving your marriage… and you aren’t seeing the traction you want. Or maybe is just isn’t moving as fast as you would like.

Sometimes, it can take more time than you think or want.

But are there times that your efforts are doing more harm than good?

Are there times you are hurting, not helping, your relationship and your chances at saving it?

Yes.

There are common situations I see in my coaching, where someone’s efforts to save a marriage are actually doing more harm than good. Interestingly, people make the same mistakes others have made.

More interestingly, they are easy to see when they are pointed out. And more importantly, they can be corrected, once you can see them.

So, let’s talk about the times when people do more harm than good in their efforts to save a marriage.

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