July 2021 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Is It Just Delaying The Inevitable?

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg July 28, 2021 July 27, 2021

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 28, 2021

I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to save a marriage, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Many people want to know this before they even start the process. They want to make sure that the effort will be worth it. If not, why go through the struggle, right?

Some people do make the effort to save their marriage… but they never quite get to the point of really changing anything. They might engage a bit, work on it a bit… and they gain some ground. But in reality, nothing changed. It’s more like cleaning a house that is in disrepair. It looks better, but nothing got fixed.

Then, there are others. They decide that they can’t go back. They realize the relationship must change. And change it, they do!

And save their marriage, they do!

The question is really about whether the real change happened, or just a “spring cleaning.”

The choice between the two? All yours.

Listen to this episode of the podcast for more on making those real changes.

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4 Reasons Why You Aren’t Saving Your Marriage

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 21, 2021

First, let me be clear: if you are actively saving your marriage, working toward a better relationship… stop reading and go do something else! This won’t apply to you!

But if you want to save your marriage… but for some reason, you just can’t get moving… hang with me! YOU are the one that will benefit from this episode. That “some reason” is what I want to take a look at.

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss the 4 “F” words that are keeping you from taking action… keeping you from saving your marriage.

I discuss 4 reasons why you are stuck and aren’t saving your marriage. Just to be clear, these are the reasons you are stuck… and has nothing to do with what your spouse is doing.

Let’s be clear about what typically holds people back. And yes, there may be some other reasons. I want to cover the 4 reasons I see repeatedly. And yes, they can keep you from taking any action. Unless, of course, you find an alternative. I’ll give you that alternative, too.

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Switches or Dials?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 14, 2021

No, this isn’t some electrical engineering idea. Instead, it has more to do with human nature.

We often want to find the switch, the on/off switch for some situation. Turn off stress by doing this, turn on fitness by doing this. On or off. With a switch.

This causes us to be looking for some super-easy, simple solution… often to complex issues. Particularly when it is a marriage crisis.

A marriage — much less a marriage crisis — is not an on/off situation, and no simple switch will turn it around.

Yet that is what many people want. The solution that is as easy as flipping a switch.

Yes, your marriage can be saved and improved, but not with some simple switch. Instead, think about it as dials. Instead of a master switch, there can be a number of dials. Dialing up connection. Dialing down conflict. Dialing up warmth. Dialing down resentment.

We discuss this tendency to look for a switch — and the need to focus on the dials — in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.

Listen below.

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