The Dangers of Emotions and Decisions
https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pgIt’s a false belief in our culture that we need to “trust our gut” and “follow our emotions.” Emotions change. Feelings shift. And we can’t even say what our emotions are, much of the time.
Sure, you can feel an emotion. But tell me what it is? What it means? Why it is there right now… and might be gone in 5 minutes? Or tomorrow?
Let’s be clear: a hurting marriage is painful. Conflict is tough. Not connecting with someone close to you is frustrating. But does that mean that it is time to give up and walk away? What if your emotions are all over the place, making you feel like you need to give up and walk away.
Is that a reason to give up?
Notice: “feel like” is seen as a “reason.”
Many people tell me they just need to “follow their emotions.” I remind them that there is a group of people who do this… children — around 3 years old! Because they think that the emotion is truth. They are angry, so they throw a fit. 5 minutes later, the anger is gone, so they are happy to play. Until the next upheaval.
Part of maturity is recognizing that emotions are temporal. And we don’t have to react to an emotion. We can choose our response.
Especially around things like marriage. Important things.
Listen to this podcast episode to learn more.
RELATED RESOURCES
Anxiety-Anger Anchor
“Why Does It Hurt So Much?”
Addicted To Blame
Expressive Or Avoidant
3 Relationship Killers
The Save The Marriage System
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: RSS
- Post Tags:
- emotional decision
- emotions and marriage
- feel nothing in marriage
- feelings and marriage
- how to save a marriage
- I don’t feel like saving my marriage
- lee baucom
- marriage podcast
- marriage system
- my spouse doesn’t feel like working on marriage
- save the marriage
- save the marriage podcast
- what if I don’t want to work on marriage
- Posted In:
- Save Your Marriage Podcast
Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
Dr. Baucom is internationally known for his methods and approaches to saving marriages. For over 25 years, Dr. Baucom has been helping people around the world to save, restore, and create the relationships they desire and deserve. He is the author of the book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps, and creator of the Save The Marriage System, as well as numerous other resources.
All stories by: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.