Close
Enter your
text here

Save Your Marriage Podcast

Find the Save Your Marriage Podcast right here!

Zombie Marriage??
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

How To Save Your Marriage From Zombie InfectionIs your marriage infected by the “zombie virus?”  Do you find your relationship to be the “walking dead?”  Are emotions lost and connections missing?  Do you and your spouse respond to each other with “zombie grunts?”

The infection can be stopped.  You can fight the infection and heal the relationship.

Don’t allow the big 4 symptoms of a zombie infection to overtake your relationship’s immune system.  Fight back and restore your relationship to the living and the healthy.

Okay, to be fair, this is a “tip o’ the hat” to Halloween… but still an important subject!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Pause Button Marriages
Dangers of Disconnection
“Can This Marriage Be Saved?”
The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Your Stamp of Approval
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

how to validate your spouse and save your marriagePeople are quirky.  We all have strange and interesting habits and interests.  No two people are alike. In fact, most people want to claim their uniqueness, to be seen as unique, an individual — “being your own person.”

Yet all of us crave one thing:  validation and approval.  We did it in high school (“I am SO different, along with everyone else”) and we do it through adulthood.

In fact, one of the aphrodisiacs of a relationship is feeling validated, approved, and accepted by the other person.  It is what helps form the bonds early in relationship-building.  It fuels the attraction and connection… love.

Does YOUR spouse feel validated and accepted?

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, discover how this can make or break a relationship.  Hear the 6 traps that may keep your spouse from feeling validated — and what to do about it!

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
2 Necessary Feelings
The Importance of Connection
Are You On The Same Team?
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Dealing with Negativity
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

How to deal with negativity when you are saving your marriage.It happens.  In the middle of a marriage crisis, you can find yourself surrounded by negativity.  A spouse negative about the marriage.  Friends and family negative about your efforts to save your marriage.  You negative, well, about everything you are doing (it is easy to slip into self-blame and self-doubt).

Negativity comes from several sources:  fear, protectiveness, anger, resentment, lack of understanding, and lack of clarity.

Regardless of the source, you may find yourself reacting poorly — negatively impacting your capacity to save and improve your marriage.

Is there another alternative?

You bet there is!

I would suggest four ways to respond that can change the outcome.  Listen to the podcast for the four ways you can respond differently to the negativity, making sure that you don’t catch it yourself.  Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
You Need A Plan
Dealing With Your Resentment
Dealing With Your Spouse’s Resentment
Grab The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

The Anger/Blame/Shame Dance
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

The Anger/Blame/Shame 3-Step... and how to change it.Do you ever feel like you are dancing with your spouse… and not a fun dance??

Most of the time, couples get into habits. They both know the steps, and they just keep going through them, 1-2-3, 1-2-3, 1-2-3….

No, the dances aren’t particularly helpful. And yes, we keep dancing them, anyway!

One dance that many couples fall into is the Anger-Blame-Shame 3-step. And that particular dance? It keeps on repeating. Except that the anger grows. So does the blaming.

And so does the feeling of shame! “Why can’t I/we figure this out?”, they wonder.

And then, they dance it again.

How can you stop the dance? How can you find better steps? Better ways of moving through life?

That is the topic of this podcast episode (listen below). I tell you about those dance steps and why we do them… along with how to make a shift.

RELATED RESOURCES
Show Up
Anger and Resentment (Yours)
Anger and Resentment (Your Spouse’s)
Stepping Up
The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Why Your Spouse Doesn’t See A Change
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

SpouseDoesntSeeChangeYou’ve been working hard. You’ve been trying to make some personal changes, growing and expanding yourself. You’ve been trying to build a connection with your spouse, slowly and steadily.

You feel good about what you are doing. You believe you are gaining grown.

But then, your spouse doesn’t notice any change at all!

What happened? Why can’t your spouse see the changes?

It can be challenging, frustrating, hurtful, and downright defeating. But there is a reason your spouse isn’t noticing (or admitting to noticing) the changes.

In fact, there are 3 reasons why your spouse doesn’t see the changes.

Let’s take a look at the 3 reasons, and start creating a strategy to make those changes visible.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
“Can Every Marriage Be Saved?”
“Can MY Marriage Be Saved?”
How One Person Did It!
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Limiting Beliefs Limiting Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Are limiting beliefs limiting your marriage? Yep. Listen to the podcast to learn more.It almost seems redundant, doesn’t it? If you have limited beliefs, they could limit something — say, for example, your marriage.

I say IF you have limited beliefs.

Full disclosure: We ALL have limited beliefs that are limiting us. We ALL have blind spots, assumptions, even untrue beliefs. We just don’t notice them. And we pay a price for that.

Especially since we usually fail to notice or address these limiting beliefs.

Do you think your limiting beliefs MIGHT be limiting your life and your marriage?

I’m betting that is the case, since it is true for all of us.

Here’s the good news: you can change your limiting beliefs. Once you know what they are. And decide to change them

Listen below for this week’s podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES
Myths About Marriage (And Saving It)
Fears That Hold You Back
Is Your Spouse Stuck?
Grab The Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Are You Dissing Your Marriage? 3 Ways….
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

3 ways you are dissing your marriage and hurting your relationship.I am way too uncool to ever use “Diss” in a conversation.

That said, I will drop it into a headline, because I see too many couples “dissing” their relationship, without even meaning to.

Distraction, Disinterest, and Disconnection lead to Disrespect of your relationship.

And it often becomes habit, usually without you meaning to.

The bad news is, these 3 ways you “diss” a relationship eat away at the foundations.

The good news is that once you know what you are doing, you can change it. Even turn it around.

Learn how you are dissing your marriage, and how to stop in this week’s podcast.

Listen below.

RESOURCES:
Power of Connection
Marriage Crisis Mistakes to Avoid
Why Your Efforts May Be Failing
Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

The Danger of a Shortcut
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

All the "short-cuts" got you to here.I admit it.  The phone call got under my skin.  We were traveling and I answered the call.  The person asked if I was the “save the marriage guy.”  I told him I was.  He told me he didn’t want my System.  Just the secret, the “short-cut.”

When I told him he needed the whole System, he said he didn’t want to go through all of that.  He just needed the “trick,” the short-cut.

We went round and round for a couple more minutes.

I realized I was not going to convince him, but all the “short-cuts” he had been trying is what got him to here.

He hung up, likely still looking for the “short-cut.”

And I was left thinking.  Wondering.  Pondering.

And realizing that there is a distinct difference between being efficient and trying to find the “trick.”  Those “tricks” are all the things on the internet about “hypnosis,” “reverse psychology,” “spells,” or any of those other manipulations.

You can be efficient in your efforts.  You can be effective in your plan.  But not by taking the “short-cuts” that are really just tricks.

Can I tell you more about this?  Listen to the podcast below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Reverse Psychology is Dangerous
No-Contact is Crap
Don’t Choose Manipulation
Grab My Save The Marriage System

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Have You Been “Friend Zoned”?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Did you get Friend Zoned in your marriage? Are you only roommates now? What does that mean?I often get a message that goes something like this, “We have been making progress on our marriage.  I’ve been working hard to reconnect, and think I have done a good job.  But lately, we don’t seem to be making any more progress.  Did my spouse Friend Zone me??”

Since I have heard this from coaching clients and total strangers, people in my program and listeners of my podcast, I thought I needed to address it.

First, let me just say, there is a “Zone” of disconnection and recovery that can feel like a stagnant friend zone.  But is that really what it is?

In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I discuss what people mean when they say “Friend Zoned” or “Roommates Only,” and why it happens.  I also discuss what a healthy marriage looks like.  We dive into the process of connection (along with disconnection and reconnection).  And I talk about why you always pass through this zone… in both directions. Then, we discuss why some people get stuck here.  And we look at how to make sure you don’t get stuck.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Book:  How to Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps
Program:  Save The Marriage System
Coaching:  VIP Program
Training:  Why Connection is so Important
Training:  How to Resolve the Disconnection

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS

Is It Time for a Bootcamp??
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

I have some friends who have been in different bootcamps this past year.  Most are fitness-oriented… getting back into shape, improving your running, improving your tennis, things like that. Bootcamps are great ways to get up-to-speed as quickly as possible, so you perform better.

In the military, people go through bootcamp to get ready to be a soldier.  It is intense and challenging, but designed to get someone ready to face a challenge elsewhere.

Is it time for a bootcamp? How about a Husband Bootcamp?Bootcamps are a great way to get up-to-speed for what comes next.

Which is why I created the Husband Bootcamp.

I remember sitting in my office with a couple trying to get back on-track.  They were stumbling and struggling.  Then, she turned toward him and said, “You are a good man.  But you are a bad husband.” It was like a hammer at hit him in the face.  He was embarrassed and upset.  At first, he was angry.  But then, he caught himself, turned to me, and said, “I am doing the best I can… and I am failing.  What can I do?”

That started an impromptu bootcamp.  We called it the Husband Bootcamp.  Along with a few others, this was transformational for their marriage.

Recently, I decided it was time to bring that to a bigger audience.  We have been working hard to put the finishing touches on things.  But in the meantime, I wanted to give you a little insight on what it is about, who can benefit, and how to jump in (or gift it to your spouse).

Listen below for info.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Get Updates and Info on the Husband Bootcamp HERE
Grab the Save The Marriage System Here
Learn More About One Person Helping A Marriage Here

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: RSS