Posts Tagged :

angry spouse

Is Your Crisis Hot or Cold?
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Is your marriage crisis marked by heated struggles or cold distance?  Does it matter ?  Does it change your approach to saving your marriage?Is your marriage crisis marked by heated arguments or cold distance?  Hot or cold?

Are they really that different?  Or is it all a part of the same process?  And how does it affect your attempts to save your marriage?

During back-to-back coaching sessions with two couples, I had a case of each.  In the first, both were practically red-faced with anger, talking over each other and refusing to listen.

In the second session, the couple were cold and distant, refusing to engage with each other, routing all discussions through me.  Both refused to listen to the other.

The underlying issues were the same.  The emotional temperature was different.  Each couple had set their “emotional thermostat” to a different level.  And neither couple seemed interested in changing the setting.

What is the difference between the heat and the cold?  How does it affect your efforts to save your marriage?  Is it possible that both the heat and the cold are actually pointing toward the same process?  The same path?

We explore the difference between hot and cold crises and what to do to turn it around in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES
Why Connection Matters
Changing Yourself
Learning About Anger
Grab the Save The Marriage System

The Anxiety-Anger Anchor
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

The Anxiety Anger AnchorDo you find yourself and/or your spouse anchored to a problem by anxiety or anger?  Guess what? Anger and Anxiety — they come from the same space!  One is the inner, the other is the outer expression of fear/hurt/threat.

And wow, can it ever anchor both of you to the problems — keeping you from moving to solution.

Why does the Anxiety-Anger become an anchor?

How do you cut the line and get back on-track to healing your marriage?

Listen to today’s podcast to learn more on releasing the Anxiety-Anger Anchor.

RELATED RESOURCE:
Anger and Resentment
Why You Need A Plan
The Save The Marriage System

Healing Your Resentments
150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

Healing your own resentments.Resentments are the deep infections of anger.  When anger is unresolved, it becomes a systemic poison.  But do remember that anger is really a result of hurt and fear/threat.  It just comes out as anger.

When the hurt goes unaddressed and the anger festers, it becomes resentment.  Resentment then spreads into more and more areas of relating.  It pulls the relationship down, weakening the connection and destroying good feelings.

Your spouse may have lots of resentment toward you.  We will be covering that next week.  But we always start with ourselves.  What about YOUR resentments?  How do you heal YOUR resentments?

If you don’t start there, you won’t be effective in addressing your spouse’s resentments.

Join me for this week’s podcast, as we discuss healing your resentments. . .

SOME RELATED RESOURCES
4 Mind Modes Killing Your Marriage
3 Relationship Killers (And 3 Nurturers)
Save The Marriage System (Including Anger/Resentment Module)