lee baucom – Page 16 – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

What Happy Couples Do Differently – Series

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg September 26, 2018 August 9, 2019

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

September 26, 2018

Every marriage has problems. Every single one.

But about 50% figure out a way to stay together, even when there are problems.

And then there are those happy couples. The ones who have it dialed in, figured out, and are happy.

Here’s the thing: success always leaves a trail. If you want to move to that place, to have a marriage that is happy and rewarding, you can learn for those that made it.

In the What Happy Couples Do Differently series, I discuss 11 things that happy couples know and do differently.

Listen to the episodes below to follow the trail to a happy marriage:

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Conflict

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Connection

What Happy Couples Do Differently About Companionship

If you are ready to make a shift and become a happy couple, too, it is time to grab my Save The Marriage System. Discover what happened, how to shift, and how to build a marriage you BOTH will treasure and protect. Become a Happy Couple!

CLICK HERE TO GRAB THE SAVE THE MARRIAGE SYSTEM

Marriage and The Goldilocks Principle

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

June 20, 2018

Remember that children’s story? Goldilocks, lost in the woods, stumbles upon the bear family home — which they had just left. Inside, she finds one bowl of porridge too hot, one too cold, and one just right. Same with chairs: one too soft, one too hard, and one just right. Same with beds: one too soft, one too hard, and one just right. Goldilocks picks (duh) the “just right” option and falls asleep.

But remember: the too hot/cold, too hard/soft items were not too hard/soft, hot/cold for other members of the bear family. We all have “just rights” that are just right to us — not to others.

And that is true with marriage. Healthy marriages are built to be “just right” to both people. In hurting marriages, it may not be “just right” for either. Or it may only be “just right” to one. Both situations can cause strife, conflict, and pain.

This week, let’s talk about how the “Goldilocks Principle” applies to marriage — and how you might be able to get to a “just right” relationship.

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Chronic, Crisis, Flashpoint, Tipping Point – What Happened??

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

May 23, 2018

“What happened?”, they ask me. They tell me they knew things weren’t great… but they had no idea that things were “this bad,” to the point that a spouse is threatening separation or divorce.

Suddenly, a chronic marriage problem becomes a marriage crisis.

They can’t believe “that one argument” led to the threats of divorce.

And they are exactly right. That was just a flashpoint.

At some point, most chronic issues have a tipping point, when they go from chronic to crisis. it happens with health issues. And it happens with relationship issues.

Nothing is great… but not horrible… until everything turns upside-down. The problem erupts into a crisis.

If that is what happened to you, you need to understand the dynamics behind this. I cover those dynamics in today’s podcast. Listen below.

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Are You Just Delaying “The Inevitable?”

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

May 16, 2018

I get this question often enough to know that you may be wondering, too. Is it really possible to save a marriage, or are you just delaying the inevitable?

Many people want to know this before they even start the process. They want to make sure that the effort will be worth it. If not, why go through the struggle, right?

Some people do make the effort to save their marriage… but they never quite get to the point of really changing anything. They might engage a bit, work on it a bit… and they gain some ground. But in reality, nothing changed. It’s more like cleaning a house that is in disrepair. It looks better, but nothing got fixed.

Then, there are others. They decide that they can’t go back. They realize the relationship must change. And change it, they do!

And save their marriage, they do!

The question is really about whether the real change happened, or just a “spring cleaning.”

The choice between the two? All yours.

Listen to this episode of the podcast for more on making those real changes.

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Making The Mosaic: Paula Martin

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

April 18, 2018

Over these past few weeks, I have been letting my team of coaches share from their wealth of knowledge. I’m betting you have been learning lots. This week, we continue those interviews.

Coach Paula Martin

Paula has been with me since the beginning of my team of coaches. But long before Paula came onto my team, she was already coaching. Her training is in Relationship Coaching, but she is also trained and skilled as a mediator. A core of mediation is finding a common goal or common interest, then building from there. Not a bad skill for relationship recovery!

In our discussion, Paula brought up a powerful image: the mosaic. Paula noted that many times, when something in life seems shattered (like, for instance, a marriage), people feel hopeless that there is nothing to be done. It is shattered and ruined, they believe. Paula notes that every beautiful mosaic is made from broken pieces. Pieces that are put together in a beautiful pattern that wasn’t possible before it was broken.

Sometimes, something beautiful can come out of the broken. Many times, this is true with marital problems.

If you hear something that fits for you — if you resonate with what Paula discusses — you might want to contact her. You can email her by CLICKING HERE.

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Growing After Loss: Dave Crispin

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

April 4, 2018

I’ve been introducing you to my team of coaches — and to their wisdom — over the past few weeks. If you’ve been listening, you have heard from some talented and seasoned coaches. And you have had the chance to get some great nuggets of knowledge from their years of experience.

Coach Dave Crispin

This week is no different — except for the distance. My team member from “Down Under,” Dave Crispin and I had a late evening/early morning talk that you get to overhear today. Listen in as Dave talks about his own journey to today.

Dave didn’t start as a coach. After his own loss, Dave found himself learning and growing. Not because things were easy, but because things had been tough and he knew he had to grow.

And along the way, Dave discovered his passion for helping people as they were struggling on their own life path.

While helping others grow, Dave discovered his capacity for helping couples grow, even when their marriage was in trouble.

Listen in as Dave and I discuss how to grow through the challenging times, even using the challenges as inspiration.

If you hear something that clicks for you, and if you want to contact Dave, CLICK HERE to email him.

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We Change When We Change: Terri Hase

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 28, 2018

Over these past few episodes, I have been sharing interviews with my team of coaches — and sharing their depth of wisdom and knowledge with you.

Coach Terri Hase

This week, I share an interview with Terri Hase. Another of my skilled and seasoned coaches, Terri brings a wealth of knowledge and tools to her clients. And in our interview, Terri shares some great information for anyone trying to save their marriage.

One of the topics we discuss is change — even the delayed change. You know, those things that need to be change, but we put them off? And then, you make the change… only to have a spouse doubt your veracity.

Well, change is tough. And sometimes, we don’t make changes… until we have to.

Don’t let that diminish your efforts to make changes! Even when a spouse is resisting, making those changes is necessary and important.

Listen in as Terri discusses her journey through challenges to arrive at coaching, and how to move through the change process.

If you want to contact Terri, CLICK HERE TO EMAIL.

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Staying The Course: Laurie Johnson

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 21, 2018

Over the past few episodes, you have met some of my coaches. All are amazing and outstanding coaches, as well as wonderful people. Today, you get to meet another amazing person, Laurie Johnson.

Coach Laurie Johnson

So, what do you do when one of the worst hurricanes hits your home and destroys all that you have? You rebuild. Not just your property, but your life.

Which is precisely how Laurie found her home in coaching. As is true with most coaches, it is not a matter of starting at zero. Most people who become coaches have been “coaching” their entire lives. They just didn’t know it. So, for Laurie, it was about connecting the dots, seeing a new future, and building toward that.

Interestingly, that is pretty much the recipe for rebuilding a marriage. Once you can connect all the dots, you have to be able to see a different future. Beyond the devastation that might be there. To a future that is bigger and better. And then, you have to do the work to build toward that.

Laurie and I talk about the importance of those efforts — the importance of choosing your direction and then “staying the course.”

Listen in as Laurie shares her wisdom for dealing with a marriage crisis, even when the storm is hitting, the winds are blowing, and you aren’t sure if you can hold on. You can.

If you want to contact Laurie, CLICK HERE TO EMAIL.

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Uncovering Hope: Annette Carpien

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 14, 2018

Hope is an interesting thing. It can disappear — or you can build it.

Coach Annette Carpien

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been introducing you to my incredibly talented team of coaches. And this week, Annette Carpien is my guest. A part of my team from the beginning of me having a team, Annette is a skilled coach who brings hope into her work.

In her coaching, Annette wants to do more than just make a small shift in the relationship. As she puts it, she wants to help make the relationship “juicy,” something that both people cherish and protect.

As Annette and I talk, you will hear her infectious enthusiasm that comes from a place of hope — and confidence that she can help make a real shift.

With her tools and skills, Annette is a great asset to my team, a great coach, and a wealth of wisdom for those ready to make a true shift.

If you resonate with anything you hear from Annette and would like to discuss coaching with her, contact her by EMAILING HERE.

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Shift From Control: Nina Potter

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 7, 2018

Over the last couple of episodes, and over the next few, you get to meet and learn from my amazing coaches. They are all hand-selected by me because of their expertise as coaches. Then, we add in my tools and approach. And, their outstanding coaching becomes your chance for transformation.

Coach Nina Potter

In this episode, I chat with Nina Potter, one of my earliest coaches. Nina knows relationship struggles because she has been there. And because of her own relationship challenges, Nina set out to learn all about relationships: what makes them healthy — and how to turn them around when they aren’t healthy.

My coaches are a wealth of wisdom. And Nina shares her wisdom during our discussion. We talk about the dangers of control, and how to make a shift when a marriage is stuck.

If you are interested in contacting Nina, you can EMAIL HER HERE.

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