why do marriages get into trouble – Save The Marriage: Even if only YOU want to!

Immutable Law of Marriage: It’s About WE

https://savethemarriage.com/stmblog/wp-content/themes/corpus/images/empty/thumbnail.jpg 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. https://secure.gravatar.com/avatar/669b7e375d93f77521ddaba08adb8063?s=96&d=blank&r=pg July 27, 2016 July 12, 2016

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

July 27, 2016

We start a new series this week, The Immutable Laws of Marriage.

The universe is ruled by laws. Our world is ruled by laws. And these are not the ones enforced by a governmental agency.

These laws are more akin to, for example, gravity. If you jump up, you come down, thanks to gravity. When you trip, gravity takes over and you hit the floor.

You can momentarily escape the law of gravity. For example, a trampoline can propel you up. But that “escape” will still end with the law taking over. The penalty of violation? Hitting the ground again.

These immutable laws of marriage are like that. You may violate the law for a bit. But the violation will come back to bite you. There will be a price to pay, if you continue trying to violate these laws.

This week, I cover the first law. I believe it is also the most important. And it is a law that most people don’t know or understand. Violating this law may lead to failure of a marriage. But at the very least, the marriage will not be as strong or satisfying as it could be.

The first law? “Marriage Is About Becoming A WE.”

Listen below to learn how to abide by this law — and the dangers of violating it.

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There Is No PAUSE Button For A Marriage

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

November 18, 2015

Too many people think they hit “Pause” on their marriage. They are waiting for something to happen, and then it will be time for their marriage. Maybe it is when the kids hit a certain age (or leave the house), when a career gets to some certain point, when goals are achieved, etc., etc., etc.

There is only one problem: there is NO PAUSE for a marriage!

Marriages, and all relationships, are either growing or declining, proceeding or receding.

There is no pause.

The lifeblood of any marriage is connection. When people think they hit the pause button, usually, the connection is also paused. And when connection is paused, the circulation system of the relationship is choked. The relationship begins to suffocate. Soon, frustration builds. Disconnection accelerates.

And that is when I have clients tell me, “I thought we were OK. I knew we were a little disconnected, but I thought it was just a life stage. I thought we would come back to the relationship when. . . .” And they discover a spouse who is feeling done.

There is no pause in a relationship.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Don’t Chase
Have A Plan
Build The Connection
Think WE
Speak The Love Language
Grab The System

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What Happened To The Dream?

By: Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.

March 11, 2015

Every marriage starts with such promise, such expectation.

Remember that day? You promised to stick together through good and bad days, rich and poor days, sick and healthy days.

And you knew you would.

Then, things began to deteriorate.

But do you remember that time when you believed, “Not us. We won’t have problems. We won’t face divorce.”

And here you are.

What happened?

What happened to the dream?

There are 5 core reasons why the dream dies. If you know the reasons, you can also begin working backward to heal the problems and. . . regain the dream.