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Monthly Archives :

October 2017

Surviving Conflict
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Surviving conflict in intimate relationships, including marriage.During the last couple of weeks, we’ve been talking “survival.”  First, I talked surviving separation.  Then, last week, I covered surviving infidelity.

This week, I cover surviving conflict.

Conflict can slowly eat away at the connection of a relationship.  The more fights and arguments you have — especially when no progress or resolution is found — the weaker the connection becomes.

For many, conflict has become habitual.  And some believe that the conflict is “just our way of communicating.”  But it is caustic and hurtful.

So, how DO you survive conflict?  Learn to face it differently.  Learn to do it differently.  And learn how to turn the useless sparring into useful progress.

Listen for more in this week’s podcast.

RELATED RESOURCES
Fighting Versus Solving
Happy Couples Do Conflict Differently
Expressive Or Avoidant?
System To Save Your Marriage

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Surviving Infidelity
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How to survive an affair and marital infidelity.Last week, I shared a podcast on Surviving Separation.  I heard back from some folks who asked, “what about surviving an affair?”

I thought it was a fair question.

So this week, I discuss how to survive an affair.  If you are interested, I have an entire book dedicated to Recovering From The Affair.  This podcast is not so much about recovering as surviving — living through it, so that you can get to the point that you CAN recover.

Before you can heal, you have to stop the bleeding.

And let’s be very clear:  infidelity is very tough on a relationship.

But not insurmountable.

In the podcast, I cover some basics about infidelity and the pain caused by an affair. (Along with a quick coverage of the root causes of infidelity.)

Then we talk first aid.  I discuss 4 parts of a process to get you going.

So that you can survive infidelity.

Listen below for more.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Affair Recovery Resources
Recovering From The Affair book

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Surviving Separation
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
By:

Surviving marital separation.If you have listened long to my podcasts, you probably know that I am not big on separations.  In fact, unless there is some physical risk, I discourage separations.  I think they run counter to working on a relationship.

But. . . sometimes, a separation is unavoidable.

So, how do you survive a separation, especially if you didn’t want the separation (or if you did, and now see it was a mistake)?

I’ll tell you the reasons why I don’t like separations.  There are 3 reasons.

There are some tasks that need to happen, both on individual and couple levels, during the separation.  You can take on 3 tasks for yourself.

Listen in to the podcast for how to survive a separation.

RESOURCES ON SEPARATION:
Separation Podcast
Separation Article
No Chasing

 

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Confession — I have to admit to this. . .
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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This is Lee Baucom, and I need to make a confession. . .Every now and then, I get an angry email or phone call.  But this one. . .

He started out nice enough:  “Are you the guy that has that save your marriage system online?”

“Yes.  Can I help you?”

“So,” he continued, “you are the one who claims to have helped people around the world?”

I noticed his voice was a bit more. . . pressured. . . angry.

“Umm.  Yes, that would be me.”

“Well,” his voice was just below a yell, “I bet you have never saved a marriage in your life!  I bet you haven’t even saved one single marriage in your life!”

We “chatted” for a bit longer.  But he was convinced. . . I was a fake, a fraud.

I thought about it for a bit.

And I decided I needed to make a confession.  I can’t live with myself anymore.  I do have to admit to this.  So, I just decided to record it.  Just so I am clear with everyone.

Listen to my confession below.

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