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Save Your Marriage Podcast

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The Trick to Saving Your Marriage. Careful. . . .: #41 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Look in the mirror while you save your marriage.Are you working to save your marriage?  Are you trying to figure out the trick to doing that?

Be careful.

Yesterday, I sent an email out to a group, asking what their “burning question” was about how to save a marriage.

Within minutes, the emails started coming in.  By the end of the night, hundreds of emails were in my inbox.  They are still arriving today.

I asked the question for one simple reason:  I wanted to know what people might want to hear about or read about in my articles and podcasts.

There were some common themes about affairs and disconnected marriages.  There were concerns on how to communicate with a distant or angry spouse.  There were questions about how to approach issues like money, children, finances, forgiveness, and household responsibilities.

And there were questions about “tricks” or techniques to short-cut the process.  We all want that, don’t we?  The diet industry makes a fortune each year, parading out the latest tip or trick to turn that fat to muscle.

We all want the short-cuts, the most direct route to anything.  This is especially true about painful things — saving your marriage being one of those.

In this week’s podcast, I wanted to talk about how to save your marriage, but without falling into the “trap” of a “trick.”  Sometimes, those “tricks” really run counter to who we truly are.  We find ourselves making ethical and moral “adjustments” that leave us unable to feel good about looking in the mirror.

There are 5 points to keep in mind, as you work to save your marriage.  Listen and learn those 5 points.

Let me know if you would add others in the comments area below!

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How To Never Be Unhappy In Your Relationship Again: #40 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Save Your Marriage and Never Be Unhappy In A RelationshipIs it possible to never be unhappy in a relationship?  Is there a shift you can make that changes the whole equation?

You may come to this site, unhappy in your relationship and frustrated with life.  What if there is one shift that changes the equation?  And what if that one shift is something entirely in your control?

In this week’s Save The Marriage Podcast, I talk with Nina Potter, one of the Relationship Coaches on my team.  Nina’s upcoming book is entitled “How To Never Be Unhappy In A Relationship Again.”  That is a bold claim.  Listen and let me know if Nina convinces you!

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4 Practical Steps for Calm in the Storm: #39 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How to save your marriage by finding your calm in the storm.Does it feel like a storm is swirling around you, pushing you back and forth?  That is a typical, but not particularly helpful, in a marriage crisis.

In fact, when our brain is in crisis mode, it hijacks our body and our mind.  You become less effective in your efforts to save your marriage.

The bad news is, this process is what happens when you are on automatic.  The good news is that there are some things you can do to short-circuit your overwhelm.

Today, I want to share 4 very practical, very powerful, and very simple strategies you can use to get your brain to switch.  Not only that, but if you apply these strategies (actually, 4 simple actions), you can re-wire your brain and have your mind functioning.  This is not “woo-woo” stuff.  All the strategies are well-researched and simple.

And most importantly, all will help you as you work to save your marriage.

Please listen, and then please implement the strategies!

Let me know how it goes and what you think by leaving a comment below.

 

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How Values Can Save (Or Destroy) Your Marriage: #38 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Save your marriage by talking about values.What happens when you and your spouse just don’t see eye-to-eye?  How do you get past it?

Perhaps the real issue is about values.  Do you and your spouse share the same values?  Or more precisely, do you and your spouse even talk about your values?

Many times, it is not a matter of values not matching, but of not understanding how your spouse expresses a value.

Or perhaps you believe you and your spouse share the same values, but never really clarified what you mean by the values each of you claim.

This week, I interview one of my very talented Relationship Coaches, Terri Hase, on how to get to the bottom of the values question.

Join Terri and me as we discuss values and how important they are in a marriage.  Oh, and if you want to contact Terri, you can find her at [email protected]

Let me know what you think in the comments area below!

 

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The Power of The 4 P’s: #37 How To Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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You may be familiar with my 3 C’s of working on your marriage.  Today, we make a shift and look at the 4 P’s of maintaining your mindset and approach.

How do you save your marriage when you keep getting pulled off balance by the actions (or inactions) of your spouse?  You stick with the 4 P’s.  You shift your mindset to see that this can take some time, that you need to keep on moving forward, but thoughtfully.

“How” you ask?  By focusing on the 4 P’s.  Let me tell you about them in this week’s podcast.

Let me know how YOU stick with the 4 P’s in the comments area below.

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Are You Playing Mind Games. . . With Yourself?: #36 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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how to save your marriage and end your mind game.Mind games.  We all play them.  But what if you are playing the BIGGEST mind game with yourself?

I have news for you:  you are!  I know, because I often do the same thing.  In fact, not recognizing this important fact almost cost me my life!

There is a simple solution that can give you more peace and quiet in your life.  And the best part is that it is entirely under your control.

I want to tell you about the 3 steps to stopping this mind game, and then the 2 extra “fail safe” strategies, if those steps are not entirely successful.

You think yourself into difficulties and you can’t think your way out.  But there is a solution.

Please listen to the podcast (free audio) and let me know what you think.  You can leave comments just below.

 

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Still Feeling Stuck? Get Unstuck!: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How to save your marriage and get unstuck.Stuck.  Not a fun place to be.  But the reality is that “stuck” is really a feeling and not a reality.  You are only as stuck as you believe you are.

Does that mean you can get anything you want?  No.  But that does not mean you are stuck.  There is a crucial shift you need to make in order to get unstuck.

And that shift?  It is entirely within your control.  You can make that shift whenever you choose.  Or you can remain stuck.

Which will you choose?

Take a listen, then it is your turn.  How will you get unstuck?  Leave a comment below.

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7 Steps To Dealing With Marital Expectations Gone Bad: #34 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Save your marriage from unfair expectations.Expectations.  We all have them.  Some, we agree upon.  Some, we don’t even know we have (or that our spouse has them).  But they can play havoc on a relationship.

If you find yourself frustrated with your spouse over what he or she is not doing — or if your spouse is frustrated with YOU over what you are not doing (and perhaps didn’t know to do), you have fallen victim to expectations.

We don’t talk about expectations enough.  So, if you are trying to figure out how to save your marriage, but you keep stumbling on painful spots for each of you, it may be the minefield of hidden expectations.

Learn how to judge your own expectations — and what to do about them.  Then learn about how to deal with your spouse’s expectations, especially when you don’t think they are fair (I tell you the 7 steps to follow).

Let me know what you think in the comment area below.

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Boundaries For You And Your Relationship: #33 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Do you know your boundaries?  Do you know the boundaries of your relationship?

Boundaries mark how you expect others to treat you.  It is a way of keeping yourself safe — and relationship boundaries keep your relationship safe.

Set your boundaries, save your marriage.I think about them like a fence.  If you build a fence in your backyard, you are letting others know where your property ends.

Can people cross over the fence?  Absolutely!  But at least you have been clear about it, and you can ask them to leave.  You can also invite them in.  They are not walls, keeping everyone away.

Most people have a difficult time making boundaries, and many do not even know they have boundaries.

Discover the 5 truths of boundaries and the 4 step process to set your own boundaries.

Take a listen and let me know what you think in the comments area below.

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What You May Not Know About Love, Respect, and Civility: #32 Save Your Marriage Podcast
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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how to save your marriage from an affairI can’t tell you how many times I have had someone tell me, “I am no longer in love with my spouse.”  And while they are in my office, I get it.  They call each other names, insult each other, blame, are unloving, and disrespectful.

And in the midst of all that, there is a cycle:  “If you don’t show my love and respect, I won’t show you love and respect.”

A best-selling book, Love & Respect, Emerson Eggerichs says that men need respect more, and women need love more.  He says that men can be unloving while showing respect, and women can be disrespectful when showing love.  I think he is onto something.  But perhaps there is more to it.

In this week’s podcast, I take a look at the issue of love and respect, but also look at civility and courtesy as a basic platform.  If you feel unloved and/or disrespected (or your spouse feels that way), please listen.  There is an alternative.

Let me know what you think in the comments area below.

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