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Posts Tagged :

plan to save your marriage

Your New Year Renewal Plan
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Your New Year Renewal PlanIt’s just around the corner… just days away.  The end of this year and the beginning of a New Year.

A new beginning.  A fresh start.

A renewal of your efforts to save your marriage.

Many times, as time wears on, when an effort wears on… we tend to drift.  Sometimes, we know it.  Other times, it just creeps up on us.  We think we are following a plan… but we aren’t.

This is a great time to take a quick step back, then take a strong step forward.  It is a time to renew your approach, your clarity, and your determination.

On this week’s podcast episode, I cover 4 areas of renewal.  When put together, you will be off to a great start into the New Year, renewed and recommitted to your efforts to save and improve your marriage.

Listen below for more on these 4 key areas of renewal.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Show Up
You Need A Plan
Expectations and Marriage
What You CAN Control
Save The Marriage  System
Book:  How To Save Your Marriage in 3 Simple Steps

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Surviving Mistakes and Backslides
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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How to survive mistakes and backslides in your efforts to save your marriage.It happens.  You are trying to save your marriage and. . . you make a mistake.  You violate your own plan.

And things take a slide backwards.

Maybe you aren’t even sure if it is possible to get back on-track.

Most of the time, the answer is “absolutely.”

This week, I cover how to recover from a mistake, how to stop the backsliding, and how to start moving forward again.

If you violated one of my 5 Things To Avoid Doing, maybe even before you knew about them (and even after you learned about them), you can still recover and start moving forward.

If you decided to eat better. . . then you hit the dessert buffet, what do you do?  Toss in your plan? Or get going on your plan?  Same here.

But let’s talk about how to not just survive the mistakes, but get going again.  Listen below.

Survive Series:
Surviving Separation
Surviving Conflict
Surviving the Golden Hour

RELATED RESOURCES:
You Need A Plan
Reverse Psychology
No Contact
Save The Marriage System

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Wishing And Hoping Is NOT A Plan!
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Wishing and hoping is not a plan.I admit it.  I am an information junkie.  If I am interested in something, I read and read before taking action.

Sometimes, though, when something big is in front of us, we forget that last word, “action.”

You can study, read, cogitate, agitate, marinate. . . and do nothing.

Oh, sure, it can feel like you are doing something.  After all, your mind is in overdrive.  But there is no action.

It’s kind of like being stuck in neutral, but revving the engine.  It sounds like something is happening.  The engine is roaring.  But there is no movement.

Why does that happen?

I believe there are 4 barriers.  Here they are:

  1. Fear
  2. Lack of knowledge
  3. Lack of confidence
  4. Lack of desire

Done is better than perfect.We can work through any of them (except the last), and you can move forward with working on your relationship.  But only when you are ready to lean into it.

But you have to get started!

Fear may make you feel like you don’t want to take action.  But fear is really only telling you that it is important.

And you don’t have to get it perfectly.  You have to get started and moving in the right direction.

Let’s get out of neutral and get you headed back to a relationship you can treasure!

Listen to the podcast below.

RESOURCES FROM THE PODCAST:
Your Reason Why To Save Your MarriageHaving A Plan To Save Your Marriage
3 C’s of Saving A Marriage
The Save The Marriage System
Virtual Coaching

 

 

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Why You Need A PLAN To Save Your Marriage
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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Do you have a plan to save your marriage?Do you have a plan to save your marriage?

Not an idea, floating around in your head.

But a plan.

Written down.

I have been asking this question for years, especially when someone tells me their marriage isn’t turning around.

90% tell me they DON’T have a plan.  I tell them, “that is the starting point.”

If you don’t have a plan, you don’t have a map.  If you don’t have a map, it is tough to get to where you want to get.

I know:  you have books, CD’s, DVD’s, study courses, articles, and all sorts of other information on how to save your marriage.

Information is just data.  When you take that information and process it (think and ponder about it) about your current situation, you arrive at knowledge.  Contrary to popular opinion, knowledge is not power.  It has no power until you apply it.

When you apply knowledge, and you keep applying it — learning from it and allowing it to transform you, then you arrive at wisdom!

But if you have no plan — no written plan for how you plan to save your marriage — the information is just information.  Interesting.  But not transforming.

In this week’s audio, I discuss several reasons why a written plan is so important, and how to get started on your plan.

Remember this quote, as it applies to having a plan:

Consult your plan, not your emotions.

Whenever you allow your emotions to call the shots, you will end up with those who see no change.  But when you consult your plan (you do have a plan, right?), new possibilities emerge.

Time to make a plan!

Here are the resources I mention in the podcast:
The Save The Marriage System (if you don’t have this, you need it, so you can start making your plan!)
Finding Your Why
[email protected] (If you are interested in the Virtual Coaching Program — limited availability!)

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What’s Your Why?
 150 150 Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D.
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What's Your Why?I hear the same question over and over, “How do I save my marriage?”

It’s a great question.  But there is something else you need to ask first:  “What’s my why?”

In other words, WHY are you wanting to save your marriage?  This is the starting point.

That single question is fundamental to your process, whether you are watching your marriage teeter at the edge of destruction, or if you are just starting out.

When you ask yourself “Why?”, you will discover two types of reasons.

Of these two types, only one will move you forward.  The other type will fall away.

Yet most people are using this type of “why.”  Which is why those efforts often fall short — eventually, the efforts are abandoned.

When the other type is your reason, the motivation stays.  This type of “why” serves as a GPS for you through the difficult moments.  It tells you the direction to go, as you put together your “how,” your plan to save your marriage.

Listen below to learn how to discover the reason “why” you want to save your marriage, and then how to use that in your plan to save your marriage.

Ready to learn how?  Grab my Save The Marriage System HERE.

 

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